My Dinner with Station Management

Chapter 5: French Exchange

Cecil skipped down the stairs, after rearranging his hair, glasses, tie, shoelaces, eyelashes and applying his blue contacts to conceal the fact that he has no irises. He breathed slowly, savouring the warm, desert air that tasted faintly of vanilla and opened the door.

Cecil's excitement fell when he discovered the package at his feet, instead of his Italian dilettante whom he had been awaiting all this time.

“I guess Carlos isn't coming at all”, he sighed.

Cecil took the package upstairs to the office, passing Intern Georgia, Intern Lucy, Intern Sasha and Intern Nelson who seemed to be doing some strange kind of ritual with Khoshekh. Cecil placed the package on the desk and cut the box open. What would be inside? A vortex? A bottle of armagnac? A hatchet?

Cecil discovered instead a strange array of items, one of which was slightly moving. Cecil found some candles, a two for one coupon at Gino's Italian Dining Experience and Grill and Bar, some hair gel and the moving box. The items were covered in a strange purple goo, similar to the ones that coated the walls of the radio station. Cecil checked the time and realised it was time for a broadcast. He quickly called up Intern Nelson to take the items away and put them in his car.

“Good Evening Listeners, it is with much regret that I say that dear, beautiful, perfect Carlos will not be joining us this evening, due to unforeseen circumstances. However, we do have another special guest” Cecil thought rapidly trying to think of someone

“Um... Intern Sasha! A French exchange student who has travelled the world.”

Cecil quickly hurried Intern Sasha upstairs, who was exclaiming her frustration in French. Cecil grabbed a translator and a microphone and set up the recording system.

“So Sasha, how are you enjoying Night Vale?”

“*chhhkkk* Well, Cecil *chhhkkk* It is so dark here *chhhkkk* and no one seems to realise the *chhhkkk* the murders and eternal darkness we live in *chhhkkk* please help me.”

“Ahahaha, such a comedian as always. Tell us about France”

“*chhhkkk* My family sold me to this station *chhhkkk* I have no real home.”

“Intiguing! Well that's all the time we have, see you later friend!”

Intern Sasha fell down the stairs going back to her room, breaking her spine. She was then devoured by Khoskeh's children.

Cecil grew nervous, the broadcast was going slow and he needed to spice things up. Who apart from the government and the deities was Night Vale afraid of most? The angels? No, they're loved by all! Big Rico? No, he's a friendly pizza man! The Glow Cloud? No, ever since his nice children attended the school we've realised what a loving father he was!

He then heard a loud rumble from Station Management's office downstairs

“Shut up! I'm thinking!” he yelled.

The rumbling grew louder and more agitated, with some sexual frustration.

“Shut U-”

Cecil than suddenly realised. The slime, the hair gel, the coupon, the candles, Station Management's ambiguous sexual preferences. He was supposed to interview it. That writhing mass of tentacles, corpses and strange horns. Cecil was horrified, did Station Management eat Carlos? He went down the stairs, to find out what he had in store.