Always

4) Moving On?

Hey Guys,

I know it's been a long wait, but I've been really busy. Sorry.

And I also apologise in advance, because I don't think I've written this chapter very well, so again sorry. I'm not sure what was wrong with me when I was writing.

I hope you still enjoy it.

Enjoy

:)

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For a moment I just stood there, not quite believing what had happened. Had my best friend of 10 years, whom I'd shared some of the best moments of my life with, who had saved me multiple times from the bullying I had received as a child and most of all shown me that he'd always be there for me, given me that look dripping with hatred, disgust and embarrassment.

Why?

Had I done something wrong?

Before I had a chance to look into this deeply I was confronted by Taylor and Charlie, both were looking at me with confused and worried expressions.

Was my pain that evident?

It seemed so.

"Mia? Are you okay?" Charlie asked hesitantly, while glancing at Taylor.

I knew I couldn't tell anyone about Jay and me, as it seemed he had built a new life after my departure.

A life, which he had made evident, I did not fit in to.

I plastered on a smile and replied brightly, "Course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

However, my voice betrayed me, cracking at the last few words.

A lone tear escaped and rolled down my cheek, falling to the floor.

Everything hurt with the effort it was taking to keep myself together. My heart was crying out for me to release everything and for once I wanted to listen to it. 

I knew I wouldn't be able to hold the pain, tears and heartache much longer.

"Look you're clearly not okay Mia, and I completely understand if you don't want to tell us, as after all we only just met, but please let us in, all we want to do is help," Taylor said comfortingly.

"Whatever it is I'm sure it can't be too bad, we can help you, but only if you let us" Charlie added.

When I looked into their eyes I saw the concern that filled them; I could tell they really wanted to help me

 But how could they help me?

This was something I had to work through and do myself, just like everything else I had dealt with after moving to Australia.

Crying made me feel weak, vulnerable, and, as my previous experiences had shown me, made me an easy target.

It was for these reasons, that whenever I had cried I had locked myself away in my room, and broken down with no one to save me from myself.

However, after so many years, I was tired.

In all honesty I wanted someone, anyone beside me.

I was tired of having to fight everything myself.

I wanted someone to be there to hold me when things got difficult, someone to hold me together as I shook with tears and someone there to tell me that things will get better.