Change (ToMark Fic)

Chapter 8

I wake up in the arms of Joel, who is watching television calmly, with a content smile upon his face. I look beside us to Benji's bed, where Benji isn't there. "Where's Benj?" I mumble. 

"He left to return some movies a few minutes ago." Joel tells me as he switches the channels. "There's nothing entertaining on." He sighs then turns to look at me. "How did you sleep?" He asks. 

"Good, you kept me warm most of the night." I smile. 

"I am a cuddlier, that's probably why." He chuckles. "But I am glad that you had a good sleep." He says once I look in his brown, kind eyes. He keeps a content smile on his face, even when I bet I look like a mess when I first wake up. 

In this moment of just staring at him, I realize some things. He was there for me, even when I was bawling over absolutely nothing, but to him, it wasn't just 'nothing', it was something serious.

He helped me that night, taking away that bottle from me, I could of overdosed without a care in the world. He made me smile, even chuckle when I was in tears. He gave me a nice talk on that bench when he could of been partying like he always does. Instead he cheered me up knowing that he didn't need to, that I could of just cheered myself up, or went to Benji or Billy, or even just both of them together.

I'm not saying to rush into anything- But it's too late once Joel's lips crashes onto mine. I don't pull away simply because maybe Joel is the key for getting over this stupid crush I have on Mark. I know it's bad to use someone, but in a way, I'm not using Joel. He's making me feel loved like he's been doing, just in a physical matter. 

Wait- Isn't Joel straight though also? Our kiss breaks apart for us to both breathe, and we just stare at each other. Not in a shocked matter, more of, 'is this what we both want?' Type of way. 

"I thought you were into only girls?" I ask wanting to know.

He shakes his head. "I've liked both, but kept it to myself. Only because I don't want something serious to hold me back from doing what I want-- But with you, I have no clue." He says honestly. "When I'm with you, I feel actually free. But you're into Mark, and he's my best friend also. I don't fucking know." He chuckles. "Do you want this? I don't want to get in the way from you liking him or not wanting to destroy our friendship or-" 

That's when I kiss him, interrupting  what he'll say next. Maybe I do want this. Joel is kind and sweet. Cute as hell. Thinks of other's first. Has a such sensitive side when it comes to his father, that I love to help him through it by talking with him.  

I won't have a chance with Mark, but I do have a chance to start something sweet with Joel instead of thinking about someone who I'll never get. 

I feel Joel smile a tiny bit once our lips spread apart, and I intertwine our fingers. I look in his eyes once again, and there's a question that lingers, I nod, confirming the answer yes. Making everything official. 

Our kiss continues once he connects our lips together once again, this time it's more sweeter, and slow than a rushed one. 

After a few minutes the kiss gets interrupted by Benji who stands there, staring at us with wide, shocked brown eyes. He's confused as fuck on why his twin is kissing one of his best friends, and I understand why. 

Joel and I sit in his bed, thinking of an explanations but none of them is better than just coming out and saying exactly what happened, so we do. Benji listens with a smile on his bed, then afterwards gives both of us a huge hug.

"Now Tom and I can plan the first double date. I'm excited!" Benji cheers. "So when are we gonna tell the guys?" 

Joel and I both shrug. "Maybe once school starts up again, since it's in a few days." Joel suggests.