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Motivation

Ah, motivation, my biggest downfall.

My lack of motivation is a huge struggle for me and it effects my joys in life and is the largest cause of all my regrets.

Motivation is a driving factor. It pushes us to take on big projects, do the things we love, and get work done. But because of my severe depression, motivation does not come easy and it never stays for long.

It's one of my biggest problems and recently, it's been bothering me and extremely affecting me.

I cannot count how many writing and art projects that I want to do, but because of my lack of motivation, I either start and never finish or don't start in the first place because I know I'll lose interest and satisfaction out of working on it. And as someone who wants to become an artist and loves writing a lot, it sucks that I am barely able to even do the things that I love.

Here's a recent example:
I started writing a chapter for an idea I had of a new book. I liked the first chapter and after getting an opinion from my boyfriend, I was going to start writing the next chapter.

That second chapter is just an empty document sitting in my computer and weeks later, I haven't touched it since.

Hopefully this huge lack of motivation slowly subsides or I finally learn self discipline, whichever comes first, before summer vacation because I'm going to need to work on my list of things to draw that just keeps growing and growing. I also really need to start writing again and try to finish that story.