The book of Cielois

| |Jealousy | | Part 2

-Alois's POV-

Some of you might think I'm overreacting,
but some of you just don't know how it feels to keep watching the person you love with someone else.
The only one you trust, slowly slipping away towards someone else.
It feels as if I've lost a game, where time is what matters. And I was just too late. Someone else reached the prize before me, which is Elizabeth.
Why haven't I told him about my feelings? Because I was scared. Even if that sounds silly, I just can't do it. I strongly fear losing the only person there for me to lean on, I strongly fear getting heart broken by the person I love.
You don't know Ciel as much as I do, if I told him my feelings, while he doesn't even have the slightest feelings for me, he might actually start ignoring me and being distant.
He've done that to a lot of people before, he rejected others and made them cry before.
I found it quite funny, but if it were to happen to me.. I wouldn't bare it. I am not being overdramatic, but Ciel is the only person that keeps me sane. He's the reason for my happiness. I don't even know what I'd have done if he weren't there for me.

I just ran, as those thoughts ran through my head, I started crying. I mentally screamed to myself to stop being so embarrassing and dramatic, but I'm never known as the one to know how to control my feelings.
You thought Ciel would be chasing after me, grab me by my wrist and pull me towards him in a hug. While telling me that he's sorry, right?
I thought so too, being my hopeless romantic self.
Well, you were wrong.
Why would he? Ciel is done with my shit, done with how childish I am. I've done this a lot, storming out his house. The next day he'd just start talking to me as if nothing happened.

As I was drowned in my thoughts, I didn't notice the car that was getting too close to me.
That's before feeling the pain through my body.
'I've been hit by a car?..that's silly.
Never thought this day would come.'
Was my last thoughts before blacking out.

Ciel's POV.

As I watched Alois run off, I let out a loud sigh.
I don't understand the way Alois thinks.
Why does he make a big fuss out of the smallest things?
I honestly didn't want him to leave, at least having him here would make it less awkward.
Whenever somebody asks me how's my relationship with Elizabeth, I always have the urge to say that I feel.. Nothing.
I just feel nothing when I'm with her.
Sure, I do like her. But not romantically at all.
When we had our first kiss, I didn't feel anything that everyone describes.
I've never felt 'butterflies' in my stomach, or warmth in my chest whenever we hold hands or kiss. It felt as if she's a friend more than a girlfriend actually.
But I did feel that warm feeling before, that's when I'm around Alois.
But it doesn't mean that I like him or anything..right? You can feel that way towards a close friend. It's normal.
Alois is just.. Different. He's just so different from everyone.
Even the hell he've went through before, his story.. It always made him more interesting.
It makes me feel the need to protect him, the need to keep him happy.
Those thoughts always makes me cringe, since it doesn't sound like me at all.
But I never sound or act as myself when I'm with that ridiculous blonde boy. Even that one time, we shared a silly kiss as an 'experiment'
on how kissing felt.-but that's another story.
But the kiss I shared with Alois, compare to the kiss with Elizabeth. They both felt so different.
With Lizzy, I feel nothing. But with Alois, it gave me a lot of feelings in my heart.
But again.. It was just him being an idiot, it was just a playful kiss. Nothing more, and nothing less. Plus, we can kiss our friends without meaning it romantically?

I walked towards the living room with Elizabeth, before noticing that Alois have left his phone.
That idiot.. How am I supposed to call him then? I apologised to Elizabeth, walking out of the house and running towards the way Alois have went. I knew which way he was going, to the usual park.
That was our second place to be there, we're either at my house or at the park.
It's almost abounded after that other new park was made. So it's usually all for us.
I heard the sound of an ambulance.. And something inside me began to panic.
Why was it going the same why as me?
I began running, trying to see where it was heading.
And there I saw, a blonde boy laying there with a guy that looked like he have seen a ghost.
That couldn't be Alois, right? There are a lot of blonde boys like that.
That's what I was trying to tell myself, but I still ran towards them. When I noticed, that it was, actually Alois.

I didn't know how to react, I quietly walked towards him while they placed him onto the moving bed and rushed him towards the ambulance.
I followed, telling them that I know him, also choking out my words.
Why did he have to react that way, and get himself hurt?
I knew how Alois is, I knew that he's not in his right mind most of the times. That he shouldn't be upset about anything. But I ignore it.
I didn't know something like that would happen.

The noises around me were merely soft mumbles as I stared at Alois, hoping that he's going to be just fine. He has to be.

/ / Sorry for taking so long to update! I just always forget about this smh. I may or may not upload another part soon.
But I'm upload about their 'first kiss' Ciel have mentioned! / /