Silver Lining

    The sky was a mellow grey, with large clouds leaving earth in the shadows. "Every cloud has a silver lining." Thought the men and women passing through the shadows. "Where was my silver lining?" I looked up as if the answer was written in the clouds, but found no answer. The could kept their thoughts hidden from those who wondered.
 

   I had always hoped for my 'silver lining', hoped for a light to shine on the shadows I held within. Though, I'm not sure it will ever be my time to pass through the shadows. The most I can do is wait, in hopes that someday I will hold a flashlight of sorts to that darkness, possibly even be the source of light that tred apon it. What that single hope I push on, holding it tight in the days of darkness when I mourn what I have lost and prepare for what I will lose. The days I wish that feelings and emotions, truly were, just a state of mind.
    The brooding feeling of depression and self hatred was not a foreign thing to me. In hopes to be rid of it I faked it. I plastered a smile over my face that could only be described as dreadful, and empty. Laughed laughs that were dry and without meaning. I wanted them to be real, I wanted to be real, but instead felt like an empty vessel. Unbelonging to the world around me, unaccepted by the people around me.
    I looked once again to the sky above me, they held a certain fondness that felt warm and loving. I wanted to touch the clouds, to feel the moisture running through them. I thought of how rain would smell before rainfall, I wanted to feel, feel love for the earth and the sky, I even wanted to feel love for the people who walk the earth as I do. But most of all, I wanted to be taken away by them. I wanted to leave, to leave the place I could never hope to call home. I wanted to leave to a place I could truly belong without worries or doubts in myself or others. Where I could truly rest in peace.
    But I knew, somewhere deep down, that the sky would not carry me away. It did not, could not care. It did not understand, it didn't want to understand, because of it did it would no longer be the sky. I sat on the edge of the cliff and forgave the sky. It wasn't it's fault it could not feel. It wasn't it's fault it couldn't understand the love or the hate in the world. It could only watch from a far away place, out of reach, and out of mind.
    I reached out, I tried to touch the sky and it's clouds. I stood on the tips of my toes at the very edge of the earth, not able to pull back until my only need is satisfied. I felt a chill run up my spine as I felt the clouds push me forward in a brisk embrace. I felt their dampness, I smelled their sweet smell of rain before it poured on to the heads of man. I felt loved, and at peace as I hit the rocky shore. And I was happy, because as soon as I hit the bottom, the clouds and the sky reached out to me. They carried me away and left the world behind us as we flew higher. Above the clouds, the sun lit the atmosphere with a soft, evening glow. A light I would now forever hold close to my heart. I was happy, happy as the sun dipped into the clouds and the moon peaked. Happy to finally be home.

This story is very close to my heart, I wrote it last year when I was in 6th grade and it helped me through some stuff for sure.

Thank you my luvvies, goodbye for now.