closed-minded ♧ jay park + gray ♧

↘ 22 ↙ *edited*

***rewritten bc i couldn't stand how shitty the first version was****

---

"here ya go." hongwoo handed me a threadbare shirt and the smallest sweatpants he owned, which i still would have to pull up constantly. 

i gratefully took the change of clothes and headed to the bathroom, eager to jump into the hot bath waiting. 

it was simple, nothing more than soap, shampoo, and an electric shaver sparsely spread around the area. 

years ago, when i was fresh out of college, bottles and bottles of hair gel and cologne would crowd together with my perfume and makeup, and there were days when i mistook his shaving cream as my primer, labels jumbled and clutter overwhelming. 

i undressed and stepped into the tub, relaxing at once. 

the rounded tip of my belly poked out from under the shallow water if i exhaled deeply, and rubbed it fondly. 

the smallest of splashes echoed in the spacious, empty bathroom, and i could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

it was so quiet. 

"hey, {y/n}?" hongwoo called, right outside. 

"yeah?"

"if it's any consolation, i know jay really loves you. he has, even before you two started dating. you were the one he was singing about in 'think' a year ago, and he was so excited to jump on the collab. he'll stay up thinking about what you said to him. just give him time. he'll figure it out soon enough, and... i hope you two work things out."

"thanks."

and the silence returned.

i don't know how long i stayed there, motionless, staring blankly at the wall in front of me, but it was long enough to make my fingers prune and then some. 

i rubbed my hands together gently, in a daze. 

the water had turned cold a while back, but i was only just starting to notice. 

i dragged myself out of the bath and emptied it out, watching the swirling tornado going down the drain. 

the towel hung loosely on my head and around my shoulders as i reached for the boxers hongwoo lent me, slipping off when i put on the rest of the clothes. 

he sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands, knee bouncing up and down, when i emerged from the bathroom.

"hey," i said softly. "are you okay?"

"yeah." he sighed and looked up at me. "you done?"

i nodded curtly. 

"i'm gonna shower real quick so you can sleep soon." he jumped up and hurried to switch places. 

the door shut tightly, but i was able to hear incoherent mumbling before the sound of running water drowned out his voice. 

i strided into his kitchen and grabbed a bag of chips before sinking into the corner of his couch. 

within a few minutes, he appeared, hair flattened and dripping and towel draped around his neck.

"you should go to bed," he said, concerned. "it's already midnight."

"i wanted to ask you a few things." i replied.

"like what?" he questioned as he plopped down next to me.

"well, for starters - and i know it might not be my place to rely on you - but you've known jay for years, right? and you can anticipate what he'll say and do, so, how do i fix things?"

"that's vague, but if you want my honest opinion, i don't think you can."

i slumped down a little, defeated. 

"let me finish," hongwoo continued. "you can't unless you clean up the mess between you, sunghwa, hyuk, and kiseok. you can't handle all of this at once, and the stress is getting to you; its making you tenser, more irritable. it makes you snap easier, like what happened tonight. besides, jay just needs time to reflect on everything, so you might as well deal with the others first and sort it out."

"but after things are all good between me and three of them, what next? how do i approach jay because who knows how long it'll take? it could be months before i talk to him...i can't just start talking to him out of the blue and avoid confronting him about the drama."

"just talk to him and let the conversation flow naturally until it gets to the point where it's the only thing you can discuss. it's like a high school reunion; you used to be good friends with some of those people, but not anymore, and all you can do is make small talk about the past years until you ease into old memories and inside jokes. you bring up old gossip and drama that seemed so earth-shattering back then that you can joke lightly about now. although, it'd be more like a toned-down, calm heart-to-heart in your case."

"what should i bring up?" 

"i don't know, something sort of related, like who the father is."

"but i haven't gotten tested yet."

"maybe, after you patch things up with kiseok and sunghwa, you should. if neither of them are a match, then jay has to be the one."

---

look at this precious smile 

he looks so happy 

lol what am i doing this isn't a reddy fanfic 

it's still kinda meh but it's better than its predecessor

what a bean

it took a long ass time to fix this, and i'm lowkey kinda mad bc i couldn't work on 23 without changing this piece of crap, and i could have published 23 already bc i was gone a day ughhh