One and Only (Harry Styles)

Chapter 50

One and Only Chapter 50

When you got in the airplane you couldn't help but replay last night with Harry. Your fantasy was interrupted by the flight attendant who announced to turn off all electronics. You reached into your bag to get your phone but the letter Harry had brought you last night was placed inside. You took out the envelope and your phone. 

After you turned it off you ripped the side of the envelope to get the letter out. You tipped the envelope on the side and something fell onto your lap and you pulled out the paper. Before you read the letter you put it on.

To the love of my life,

By the time you read this you are probably going to be leaving to the other side of the ocean and I can't do anything about it. I remember how we watched The Notebook one time and Noah wrote Allie a letter for a year so this is why I am doing this. 

I'm not going to write you everyday because one I am sane and two I have no idea where you are going. I can attempt everything possible but I know I have to let you go. But I can do one thing before you leave, I can tell you everything I am feeling. 

Do you remember the first time we met? I remember everything so well. When I saw you across the bar I knew I had to make you mine. I have to admit that you caught me because I was hoping to take you back to my flat but when I talked to you I knew you were special. 

Besides being beautiful you had so much more to you. You were intellectual, strong, and independent. Chasing you was so frustrating but I knew if I ever got you it would be all worth it. If only you knew how crappy I felt when I got under your skin, but I have to admit you are pretty hot when you are mad. Watching you interact with the boys and everything they told me about you, I realized I had fallen in love with you after just a week. 

I thought that maybe I was just infatuated with you since you weren't easy to get but soon I caught myself always admiring you or thinking about you. I can't remember one night that I didn't think about you before I went to bed and even your image followed me into my dreams.

My dreams always ended with me waking up next to you but I was always disappointed to waking up alone. The day you kissed me you don't understand how you changed my life. Although it seemed you did it out of anger it only confirmed that I was crazy in love with you. 

The days you ignored me and treated me like I was dirt made me feel so low. I would talk to Lou for hours about you and he told me so many times to move on but something inside me kept me fighting for your love. 

Niall never told you but we always talked about you and he always said he knew one day you would admit that you cared about me and that's all I needed to hear. For you I wanted you to demonstrate who I really am because you thought about me in the way the public saw me and I knew you were different and would judge me on who I truly am. 

The night on the roof in New York will always be my favorite day. Holding you for real made my world complete, having you near and being able to love you was all I ever asked for. Getting to know you better made me love you more than the girl with the tough exterior that I fell for.

Under all of that was a girl who had been hurt and all she really needed was someone to truly love her, that someone like me. As the days passed by I knew you were "the one" that every love story talks about. 

They were right you know when you have it. When we were in Florida and took care of Lux I could imagine us having our own baby in the future. The way she got on with you and the way your natural motherly instincts helped take care of her, you made me realize that you had to be mine forever. 

These past weeks have really screwed everything up and I know I am the reason you are leaving. After you left the diner all I could think of is all the different things I could have done but all the "what if" aren't going to keep you here anymore. 

I truly fucked this up. But you need to know I have been so miserable. There have been nights when I'm sitting alone at home from a long day of work and I just cried. I lost control of who I was and I just didn't feel like myself. 

I have hated everyday that I didn't wake up next to you or not being able to see you to tell you how much I love you. Now that you are leaving I am going to miss everything I love about you even more. I am going to miss the way you run the tip of your fingers through the top of your head to brush your hair away from your face. 

I'm going to miss how your eyes squint when you smile. I'm going to miss the way you lose your breath when you laugh and no sound comes out for a few seconds. I'm going to miss they way you like the corners of your lips when they are dry. 

I'm going to miss the way your eyes looked into mine and without any words you seemed to say so much. I'm going to miss having your hand in mine and the way your body perfectly aligned next to mine when we slept. But the thing I'm going to miss the most is waking up to your smile and being able to whisper I love you. 

The thing that hurts me the most is that I won't be able to wake up to your smile for what seems like an eternity. I am taking your word when you say that when the time is right we will be together but if that day never comes I hope that you find someone that can love you more than I can. He better keep you as his number one priority since I couldn't. 

If I never see you again I can only wish you the best and I hope you are completely happy one day. I know you will do great things where ever you go because you don't settle for anything than what you deserve but if you ever get lonely don't hesitate to call me because your home will always be here. I won't bother you because you need all the time to yourself. 

I love you so much and I will be dreaming of the day that we reunite because you will always be my one and only.

Your One and Only,

Harry x