After Amanda took off and I agreed to become Kanato's doll, he became ruthless. He took even more blood, more than when we first started this. There were times that I don't even remember how I got home, or what happened during classes. I lost all sense of time, direction, and even the motivation to be me. I lost my personality and could only understand the words of Kanato and Bunny. I was becoming lifeless: a living doll. Just like he wanted.
After what others have said to be just a month, I was unable to function without Kanato by my side. I was now addicted to his bites, no matter how rough or how little he held back. I was no longer sane...no longer had a thought process of my own. I was relying on him to remember my basic human needs, such as eating and sleeping. Bunny was getting worried, but I refused to listen to her on that subject. What right did she have to comment on my relationship with my love? At least I didn't lose that.
I was currently in class, dazed and disoriented. My teachers had finally given up on me, my parents close to it. They seemed to no longer care about their lifeless, unemotional daughter. Of course, they probably only saw me as being rebellious. But...I honestly didn't care about what they thought.
The teacher had been droning on until the final bell rang. Everyone hurried to gather their stuff while I sat there, seemingly dead to the world. Everyone was almost gone when Kanato came to get me, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me along. I was watching the back of his head as Bunny dangled from my weak grip. I stumbled and tripped about ten times before he gave out an exaggerated sigh, picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder.
"Kanato?" I asked wearily before yawning. He was so comfy, despite being cold.
"You're making Teddy mad with all your tripping." He answered, sounding infuriated. "Makes us move so slow. What a pathetic doll."
That sent a piercing pain through my chest. I was pathetic? I was doing my best...but apparently that wasn't enough. I felt like I was about to cry but no tears came. There weren't enough fluids in my body to make tears. He hated me...and it hurt.
As he walked, I felt myself slowly drift into the darkness of sleep as I always did. I was looking forward to waking up in bed with a new bite mark and the murmurs of disappointment drift up from the living room. I hated it, but it was the only thing I lived for as far as entertainment though. Being with Kanato was lovely, yes, but it hurt more often than not nowadays.
..............
When I awoke, my room looked different. The wall color, the carpeting, the decor...everything! I sat up, ignoring the rush of nausea that hit me like a high speed mustang. This was definitely not my roommate..did my parents sell me at last? Were they that tired of me?
My mind was racing when the door opened, revealing Kanato holding both Bunny and Teddy. That eases my racing mind a bit, though it didn't answer any questions. I blinked a few times before holding my hands out for Bunny. He gave her to me and I hugged her, my eyes squeezing shut.
It sure took you long enough to wake up. She said with an exasperated sigh. That wanna be alpha bear thought he could impress me with the things around the house. How pathetic is that?
House? So we weren't in an abandoned warehouse decorated to look like a home. Did that mean...? I grumbled as my mind stopped working. Stupid blood loss, screwing with my thinkings.
"Kanato...where...we?" I asked, my sentence broken as my words jumbled.
"My room." Was all he answered, walking over to me. "I can no longer trust you on your own."
He couldn't trust me? But...it was his room! I wanted to feel happy, but I was too tired to feel anything. Had no energy left to feel anything but one thing, and I was holding on to my love for the boy in front of me. "How long...be here?" I asked again, my speech a little better, but still broken. Bunny was still nestled in my arms, looking at the wall with disinterest.
"Just for tonight." He said curtly before taking my wrist and pulling me up. I would have dropped Bunny if I wasn't already squeezing the life out of her. "You'll be sleeping on the floor over there," he pointed to a corner where a thin blanket and pillow lay. "And I'm only feeding you once."
The thought of food made my stomach flip. Just the thought of it made me nauseous. Food and I haven't been getting along as of late so I've been avoiding eating. I think it's been...almost a week since I've had anything filling. Snacks here and there, but that was it. "I-I'm good. I don't...need food..." I stammered, trying feebly to pull away. "Don't need." I repeated as he turned to watch me.
He observed me with his gorgeous violet eyes for what felt like forever. He loosened his grip on my wrist to bring it up and examine it. "When was the last time you've eaten?" He asked, disbelief and a touch of anger in his tone.
"...doesn't matter..." I whispered, looking at the ground now.
"When!" He commanded an answer, causing me to flinch.
"...a week..." I muttered and I braved a glance up. He was furious, but I didn't understand why. He was just using me as a blood source, right?
"Why haven't you been eating?" He asked, his grip tightening on my wrist once more. "You humans need food to survive!"
"...it makes me...sick. I always...throw it up in...the end..." I answered, my voice never raising to a normal volume. He was madder than I think I've seen in awhile and it scared me.
"Why?" Was all he asked, his grip on Teddy now tightening. What was wrong with him? Was he sick? Could vampires even get sick?
"Because of the...amount of blood...I'm losing, it's harder...to do basic things. Eating being...one of them...it just hurts." I explained starting to shake. He was starting to scare me, and I didn't like being scared of him.
He was silent after that, just holding me and Teddy. I was worried that he might just snap on me, so I stayed tense and on my guard. Even Bunny was silent, and she loved situations like these. The silence kept growing tense as it grew longer. I swear I think I started to sweat...or at least I would have if I had enough fluids in my body.
When he finally moved, he pulled me out of the room. I looked down at Bunny, confused. Would she know what was going on? She had been with him for a little while since I was asleep.
Don't look at me, she said instead. I've never been able to understand this boy who has a few too many screws loose.
That made me mad, but it didn't last long. Feeling things used energy, which is something I just didn't have. So I just let him drag me around, getting lost in the many hallways and corridors we seemed to weave through. When we stopped, he pushed me into a chair before disappearing. Though before I could ask Bunny for any ideas, he was back with a plate piled with food. There was bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, and many other breakfast delicacies. My mouth slightly watered before my stomach did flips. Was this some kind of torture?
"Eat everything." He commanded, standing across from me. I shuddered before slowly shaking his head. I didn't want to get vomit anywhere that he might grace with his presence. "I don't remember asking, I remember telling. Right Teddy?" He asked, looking at the one eyed bear. I could only sigh with a shake of my head, leaning back in the chair.
Are you sure it is wise to anger him? Bunny asked, sounding panicked. I could only shake my head, uncaring about the world around me; uncaring about the raging boy I had refused to notice. I was just staring at the ceiling before stuffing a forkful of sweet, sugar filled eggs into my yawning mouth.
I gagged around the food before forcing myself to chew and sallow the now gooey mess. I looked up at Kanato with teary eyes, wondering what was going on through his beautiful head. "What...what was that for?" I asked, my voice raising slightly in volume. What else could I do? That was a jerk move, even if he could do no wrong.
"....My food shouldn't slack on self care." He responded, but something was off. He had hesitated before answering, and he never hesitated. Why was he uncertain? I knew I was his food source, but was he? I was so confused, but I didn't want to see the hurt and confused expression he was showing me now.
I nodded and took the fork from him. My stomach was already doing flips and I was feeling nauseous, but I wouldn't let him down! I forced mouthful after mouthful down my throat until the plate was empty and I was able to see the happy, childlike smile on my beloved's face. I laid my head down on the table, just beside the plate, and held my stomach. I felt like I was going to bring the food right back to the pristine dish.
I closed my eyes and fought through the pain. I couldn't waste what Kanato made for me. It wasn't meant to be wasted...even if I felt the back of my was burning as the acid made its way up from the inner workings of my body. Bunny had been set on the table and she was staring me down with blank, worried eyes. I felt my chair move before I was picked up and cradled against Kanato's chest. I curled closer to him and closed my eyes as the eggs tried coming up again.
"Kanato...baby...I don't feel so good." I muttered, not filtering my thoughts and speaking my mind. "Please...not too fast..." I added as the stomach acid came up into my mouth before I forced it back down. I hugged Bunny closer, though I don't remember grabbing her. Did Kanato do that? How sweet! I'm in heaven despite the pain.
"...sorry..." was all he said and I snuck a glance up. I don't know if this was a pain induced fantasy or what I was seeing with my hazy (E/C) eyes, but it looked like he was blushing! I would have squealed in happiness if it wasn't for the stomach acid trying to force its way up and out of my mouth. So I just smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.
Kanato walked for what felt like forever until we reached his room. He sat me upright and moved my tangled, unwashed (H/C) to one side and leaned into my neck. He took a breath in, snuggling into the space between my neck and collarbone. I thought he wouldn't take any blood until he bit down and began sucking the life essence from my body. I clung to him, my nails digging into his back as he took deep gulp after deep gulp. My already hazy vision began to darken as I started to lose full focus and control of my body. He was taking all of me! I would die in his arms.
Before I collapsed and faded into the darkness once more, I whispered into Kanato's ear, shakily resting a hand on his head. "I'm happy you are the one taking my life."
This seemed to shake him enough to pull away, but that was all I saw as my eyes closed. "...(Y/N)!" I heard him shout as he caught my falling figure. And that was the last thing I felt before I faded away and heard my heart beat slow.
(Kanato's P.O.V)
I watched in slow motion as (Y/N) folded over toward me. She was as pale as a sheet and most of her features were sunken in. I managed to catch her, dropping Teddy in the process. "(Y/N)!" I shouted, holding her close to me. My eyes searched her face, looking for any signs of life, and what I saw didn't help what I heard.
Her heart had slowed to such a slow pace that sounded like it would stop at any given moment. Her breath was shallow and separated, not giving my despair any shread of hope. I held her tight as I looked around my room. What should I do? What should I do?
Turn her.
I looked at Teddy, my eyes widening even further. What? I couldn't...that would ruin her...and she'd become like them. Like the Mukami brothers. But...I looked back at (Y/N) with concern. What if I lose her?
As I debated, her heart and breath stopped. I had to decide now. Lose her forever...or turn her and keep her by my side...what should I do? What should I do?
