Serunai Kata

Serunai 28 - Competition

It hurts when they don't accept you, doesn't it?

It hurts when they don't choose you. It hurts when they don't pick you. It hurts when you have tried your very best, but it's not good enough compared to others.

And it makes you think you're not good enough for it. That maybe, everything that you have been working on is not good. It's bad. It's ugly. It's horrible.

Suddenly you're convinced that what you do will never be good enough for anyone. Ever. No one will choose you. No one will pick you.

And you don't want to compete anymore. Because you know you won't win. You think you know you will never succeed.

Competition is dangerous, isn't it? Because suddenly, you lose all hope, all trust that you've put on yourself. It leaves you wondering with no destination.

I lost my own trust. And suddenly, I don't want to do the only thing that I love doing.

And now I feel lost.

I'm lost.