BONES AU - PART FOUR "Princess and the Pear"

CHAPTER FOUR

((wow so this is hella short))

CHAPTER FOUR

The crew arrived att the auction the next day at ImagiCon. They saw Dorf- I mean Derf- up on the stage.

"Sold to the Rancor princess. Congratulations, ma'am!"

Scott leaned down and whispered to Perotta. "Is there a special reason why you wanted me here, Agent Perotta?"

She looked up at him. "I thought you wanted to be involved in the investigation?"

"Right..." He tapped on Tony's shoulder. "Pan around, Tony, okay? Just... Just blend in."

He nodded and walked off as Perotta motioned to someone in the crowd. "Look. There's Peter Kroon. And there is Valerie Daniels. Let's hope she doesn't recognize Malo."

Scott nodded. "Oh, there's the Black Knight. Valerie Daniels said that a Black Knight gave Kendra the sword."

Perotta pulled Tony over and gestured to the knight. "Stay on that one." She was interrupted by a new bid starting.

"Okay, lot 922. We have here the Geiger counter, the actual Geiger counter used by Ron Berger in 'The Day of the Atom'. Who can forget that sound right before the giant cockroach attack? Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click! Bidding starts at $10,000. Do I have ten? Ten to the Elven Warrior! 15 to the Snaarflap in the front row. Do I have 16? Sixteen? $20,000! Going once, twice. Sold to the gentleman Molnar! Uh, sorry, ma'am. Female Molnar."

Perotta pressed her ear comm to talk to Tony and Malo, who were in the seats as buyers. "Okay, here we go. Sword is next. Uh, Tony, find Malo. Malo, you got to try to keep that giant fuzzy thing between you and Valerie Daniels, okay?"

Malo shook his head in his very authentic looking Star-Trec cosplay. "She wont recognize me. Trust me."

Scott tilted his head. "Where did he get that disguise on such short notice?"

Perotta snorted. "My guess? His closet."

Derf started rambling again, this time, about the sword. "Our last item needs no introduction: The Excalibur sword from the film 'La Mort d'Arthur'. As you may have heard, the seller of this item tragically died this week. According to her family's wishes, the proceeds from this lot will go to charity. Due to the rare nature of this item, bidding will start at $50,000. This will separate the men from the boys." Valerie Daniels raised her auction card. "Or the women! $50,000 to the lady in black. Do I hear 55? Sixty? 60 to the gentleman from the future with the red lips. Do I hear 70? $70,000, yes! Do I hear 80? $80,000! Do I hear 90? We have 80 on the table. Do I hear..."

A man raised his card. "One hundred and fifty."

"$150,000. Going once, twice... One hundred sixty! One hundred and seventy! Two? $200,000! This was Johnny Gerard's first ever fantasy film, c'mon, guys!"

Malo perked. "$300,000!"

Scott watched the whole thing in fascination. "In 193 A.D., the Praetorian Guard took over Rome and auctioned off the entire empire to the highest bidder. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am."

Perotta shook her head. "Malo, it's fake money. Okay? Just do it."

"Twice..."

Malo winced and stood up. "FIVE HUNDRED!!"

Derf raised an eyebrow in fake surprise. "$500,000 for the Excalibur sword. A half a million dollars. Sir? Ma'am? $500,000 going once... twice...sold to the skinny gentleman dressed as a...whatever that is. Congratulations, sir. And thank you, everyone. Join us at the medieval weapons demonstration in the exhibit hall!"

Tony leaned in on Valerie in a way he hoped was flattering to himself. "How you doing? Just making a documentary." He motioned to his camera and Valerie just rolled her eyed as she got up and left.

Perotta tapped Scott and pointed to the man who bid $100,000. "I'm gonna go talk to James Bond, over there." She approached him and tapped his shoulder. "Nice suit. Got a minute? Badgley Mormont? Is that your real name?" She saw his Passport and snatched it to read his name.

"Of course it's my real name. It's a family name. Could I possibly get my passport back?"

"You in a big hurry to get somewhere?"

"I need to make a flight, yes."

"What's your business with the sword?"

"I represent a group of collectors known as the Arthurian Consortium. We house the world's largest collection of materials relating to Camelot. They wanted the sword."

Derf walked up to Perotta, not noticing they were conversing. "That was actually pretty wild. But I'm pretty sure no one realized the auction was bogus."

Mormont scoffed in disgust. "The auction was fixed?! I'm going to sue you, and I'm going to sue you!" He pointed at both of them before storming off.

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Scott and Malo decided to ride back to the lab that night. Malo could not stand the silence, so he spoke up. "You know, intellectually, I knew the auction was fixed, but, man, my heart was pumping!"

"Well technically, your adrenal glands were secreting."

"Okay, remember last session when we talked about the correcting and how it could be read the wrong way?"

"Right. So...how did it feel when you won the sword?"

"Awesome! Thank you for asking. Though I got to say, I'll be glad to be back behind my desk. I had enough excitement to last me-"

Just as he said this, a car sped right into them, forcing them off the road. Malo was injured, but Scott was able to get out of the car to confront their attacker, after they stole the sword. They had a fight, in which Scott was able to get the sword back, but their attacker fled. Scott went down to Malo.

"Malo, are you hurt?"

"I- I don't know. I don't know... Mad props, though."

"Thank you, but I just need to know if you're okay."