The pain

10

Tyler
"Tyler, when you grow older, just remember. That everything happens for a reason. Happy endings, don't always happen. You have to make the happy endings happen first. If you don't, a bad ending will happen."
I never thought much of my grandmothers last words. But now, i get it. I took the wrong way. I didn't care about Ethan when he needed someone. I didn't hear his screams saying he needs me. All I saw was the happy little guy that bounces everywhere.
Walking down the road for the 50th time, it's raining. It's dark, cold and wet. The first time I walked down here, I never thought I would. I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to my best friend. I never thought I'd have to live without him.
In silence I open the rusty gate and it squeaks. I hear my footsteps on the gravel and I clench the flowers in my hand as I breathe in. I walked past the other stones that have been stuck there for years, and stopped when I got to one. It's new, ish. Planted in the ground for a year. The black marble I come to clean everyday. I stare at this stone for ages.
In loving memory of Ethan nester. A great friend to many, shouldn't have died as early as he did. 24/10/96-15/06/16
I kneel down and replace the flowers at the bottom of the grave. "I got these for you. I know that I give you new ones everyday, but I want you to feel wanted again. Up there." I paused as I looked up into the sky. "I wish you were here. It's been horrid without you. We miss you so much but, you've done what you wanted. I'm so sorry that I didn't notice your pain. I'm so sorry that I didn't realise how badly hurt you were. I wish I did." A tear fell down my cheek. "I know I say the same things everyday, but, you meant so much to me Ethan. And I should have been here for you. I'm sorry."
Ethan
"And I should have been here for you. I'm sorry." I listen to Tyler come to speak to my body everyday. I wish I could go down and help him. And say that it wasn't him. I wish I could, but I can't go back down there. I can't go back because of the people. I can't go back because of the attention. And I can't go back because, well, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm gone. I don't exist. I smiled weekly.
"Tyler, Im always here for you. Just remember me forever. I promise I'll help you. Come and talk to me whenever you need to. I had to do this, I hope you understand. Thanks for your amazing memories, it's been great seeing you. Thank you Tyler."
"ETHAN NESTER. STEP FORTH"
"Y-yes sir."