I woke up in Jeff's arms in a bed I didn't know. I blinked away the sleep in my eyes and looked up at Jeff. He was looking down at my face already. "Thank God," he sighed, and kissed my head. I looked down to see that Jeff had taken me out of my clothes and put me in a T-Shirt that I didn't recognize. I figured that it was his. He had also gotten the cuff off of my arm. My arms were wrapped up to my elbows in bandages, and they hurt when I moved them. I should have been grateful that Jeff had saved me, but I was angry. It was Jeff's fault that I couldn't escape, it was Jeff who had chained me to that bed...
"I'm angry," I whispered.
Jeff stiffened.
I whispered again, "I'm so angry Jeff."
He put his arms around me a held me tighter.
I yelped at the pressure on my arms. "YOU'RE HURTING ME!" I screamed.
He released me very quickly. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO LUCY!" he yelled.
And I tried to calm down because I knew that he was trying so hard to take care of me now.
"Don't yell. I didn't mean to scream, I'm sorry."
"I know you're mad Lu. I know this is my fault." Then he mumbled to himself, "You were so bloody and I... I was trying to keep you safe in the cabin. I was trying to take care of you this time Lu... I'm sorry Lu..." It was clear that Jeff wasn't talking to me anymore. He was talking about his brother. During his crazy chatter I saw how conflicted he was about messing up his second chance.
I reached up and touched Jeff's face to pull him back to the now. He looked down into my eyes, and I could see his sadness.
"Hon... Where are we?" I asked. then realizing what I said I stuttered, "I mean... I.. Jeff. I'm so..."
Jeff quit my babbling by answering my question, "We're in a motel in Louisiana." He held me again and stroked my back.
"I wanted to die." I admitted closing my eyes. I was embarrassed now. "I stopped eating because I wanted to die... I didn't care when I hurt because I wanted to die. You won, I gave up..."
I paused. "I don't want to die anymore... Please don't let me die."
Jeff tilted my chin up and kissed me softly on the lips. "I'm trying so hard," he said very quietly and strained against my lips. "Do you understand?" He asked.
I nodded with my eyes still shut.
Then with a strained voice he struggled to get the words out.
"I love you..." He whispered into my hair.
I stiffened.
