Nothing Wrong With Being Gay

Another Cemetery

Zamir's POV

After dinner X and I got into the car. I wanted to know where we were going but I didn't wanna look up to see. I just scrolled through my phone. He stopped the car and I looked up. We were at the cemetery, where my mom was buried. My entire attitude changed after I seen where we were. I dropped my phone and looked at X. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked him.

"Let's go, get out" he said, not answering my question. That started to upset me.

We walked over to my mom's grave. I got on my knees to touch the tombstone. It was so cold, it reminded me of my dad. It reminded me of him because of how cold hearted he was to leave his kids all by theirselves. It reminded me of my mom too. How cold her dead body was. I started to feel tears coming. Xaveir looked at me and then at my mom's grave. "I'll leave you alone, I'll just wait in the car" after that he walked back to the car.

I leaned against the tombstone. I began to pray.

Dear lord,

I wanna thank you for every blessing that you have ever given me. I wanna thank you for blessing me and Xavier. Also for watching over us every step of the way. And I wanna thank you for giving us endless love and listening to our prayers when mom died. And I hope that you can continue to love us and keep us in your arms. Just continue to watch over us and bless us.

I felt a tear roll down from my cheek. I just wanted to talk to my mom.

"Mom, if your listening, I just wanna say I love you. I miss you. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think about you. I just wanna see your lovely face. I don't care if I only get to see you one more time, I just wanna see you again. I miss having you to talk to. But me and X are actually doing fine. And while your up there can you tell Ricardo we love him down here and we miss him. And tell Aliyah I miss her. No matter what ever happens, I will always do what I have to do to please you. I will go to school, graduate college, get a job, and be who you always wanted me to be. I love you. I have to go now."

The tears continued to roll down my face. I walked back to the car. I got in the car and looked out the window. I didn't say anything to X the entire ride home.

It was about 11:00 when we got home. I got in the house and kicked my shoes off. I went in my room, and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and went in the bathroom to get in the shower.

When I got out the shower, I brushed my teeth, and went back into my room. I put on my slacks and a tank top. I ironed my my shirt and jacket. I put on the rest of my clothes and went to wake X up. "X get up" I snatched the blanket off of him. "Get up"

"Why you all dressed up like that?" he asked looking confused.

"For Ricardo's funeral. Come on, go get in the shower, your clothes are hanging up in the closet." I walked out his room and went in the kitchen.

Xavier's POV

Oh shit! I forgot about Ricardo's funeral. Last night I had so many drugs in my system it was crazy. I need to stop with these drugs, I gotta set a good example for my little brother. But lemme put this stuff up before he comes in here and sees this. Lemme hop in the shower, right quick.

After I got in the shower, I went back in my room, leaving my clothes. "I'll be ready in about an hour" I yelled, and shut my door. I didn't want to, but I feel like I need to. I pulled out some of my stuff, and started smoking it. I think I'm becoming an addict.

But im so stressed out. I'm tired. I'm heart broken. My life is a mess. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I'm tryna work through it so I can help Z. I can't keep living my life through my little brother. I gotta do something. At first this drugs stuff was just like once a week. Then it became like 3 times a week. Now it's everyday, or whenever I get a chance. I only started about 3 months ago, and I'm already getting addicted. Sometimes that's all it takes, once you start you just can't stop. But I gotta stop, I wouldn't just be ruining my life, I would be ruining Zamir's too, we're all we have left. I gotta get my life together and fast!