Brothers at War [#Wattys2017]

two (i)

The flight to Arizona came a whole lot quicker than I thought that it was going to, so much quicker that I had convinced myself that time had intentionally sped up so that this date arrived quicker than it needed to.

It felt like it was only yesterday that I was opening the envelope and reading the piece of paper with my name on it, when it had been a month since that day.

Evva had told me that going was a stupid idea, especially since I was planning on taking Callie with me, and there would be no hiding that she was Matt's daughter. The secret I had spent so long hiding would be out, and there was bound to be some heartache, but I had done what I thought was best for Callie and I would defend my decision not to tell Matt until the day I died.

But, I was still debating which was worse.

The fact I was going to come face to face with Matt again for the first time in years, the fact Callie was going to meet her father (since she had taken to asking where daddy was recently), or the fact that I had been desperate enough to invite my mother as my plus one to the event.

"Mummy. I want Barbie."

"I know, sweetie. But Barbie is in the suitcase which is under the plane." I knew that I should have put her Barbie in the carry-on bag but my mother, insisting that Callie wouldn't need her toys on the plane, had put them all in the luggage which had to be checked in, and now my daughter was bored. "How about you colour this in for me instead?"

The air hostess, feeling sorry for me, had given me a colouring book for Callie, even though she had originally bought it for her own daughter. I was grateful though and, for the last hour anyway, it had been enough to keep Callie occupied, but now she was growing restless and the only thing which would entertain her was her Barbie; just as I had told my mother when she removed the doll from my bag and placed it in the suitcase.

"Colouring boring. I want my Barbie, mummy." I knew that she was about to start balling her eyes out and, as much as I hated giving into Callie and giving her what she wanted, I hated seeing her cry more. Both Evva and my mother had told me that I spoil Callie too much and that I need to stop, but she is my daughter and, if I want to spoil her with toys and clothes, then I will spoil her. "Plane stop? You get my Barbie?"

"Callie, baby. If mummy could stop the plane, then she would. But even mummy doesn't have that power," I sighed, taking my daughter from her seat and placing her on my lap, knowing that was the only way to prevent her from having a tantrum which would only embarrass the both of us. "Is my princess tired?"

"Sleepy Callie." I ran one hand through her hair, kissing the top of her head as she snuggled into my chest with her thumb in her mouth, and her free arm wrapped itself around my other arm which was supporting her body and ensuring that she didn't slip from my lap. Callie was my world and, no matter what happened during these three weeks, I was always going to love her and she was always going to be my world.