Brothers at War [#Wattys2017]

six

The pain of the events which transpired last night were still fresh when I woke up. I could still feel the knife digging in deep as I remembered my mother's words and I could feel the cracks in my heart becoming larger as I realised that my mother was never going to accept Callie.

I realised that my mother was never going to love me, and all the work I had done to repair our shattered relationship had been for nothing.

I then remembered the person who had been there for Callie. The person who had held her as she cried and had reassured her that she had done nothing wrong. The person who had been there for my daughter when she needed someone.

The person who had been there for me, was the same person who had held me and stayed with me until I finally fell asleep last night.

"Mummy?" Callie's hoarse voice tore at my heartstrings. Especially when Markus had told me that she fell asleep crying, asking him what she had done and why nanna hated her.

"Mummy is here, baby. Mummy will always be here," I whispered as I moved to bring Callie into my arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head as her arms wrapped around my body and she buried herself in my chest.

"Does nanna hate me?" Her voice was so small, so fragile and broken, that I almost didn't hear her ask the question.

"Baby—"

"I tell nanna I sorry?" If my heart hadn't already been shattered, then it would have broken at my daughter's words. My mother had upset her so much that she thought she had done something wrong, and that she needed to apologise to make my mother love her again. "I was bad. I say sorry and nanna like me."

I had to hold my sob back, because I didn't want Callie to worry about me. But, knowing that my mother had done this to my daughter, had made her feel as though she was in the wrong, it hurt and I wanted my mother to know what she had done.

There was an urge, deep within, to slap her again. I didn't give a damn that she was drunk, or that she probably wouldn't even remember what happened last night, I wanted to slap her and I wanted her to know just how much I resented her as my mother and as Callie's grandmother.

"Nanna had a bad night. She was upset with me. Not you. No one could ever be upset with you, sweetie." I kissed the top of her head and blinked away the tears which were betraying the sincere tone of voice. "You know I love you, Callie. I love you so much."

"I love you too, mummy." As if to prove her point, Callie pulled herself from my chest and sat up, placing a lingering on my cheek with a cheesy grin on her face. Callie was the only one who could melt my, supposedly, cold heart and her grin could light up my world. "Swimming?"

"Of course we can go swimming," I grinned, to which Callie clapped her hands excitedly and, much to my horror, she literally jumped off the bed. "Callie?"

"I fine, mummy," Callie giggled as she jumped up from the floor and spun around, as if to show me that she hadn't injured herself. Not that that stopped my heart from palpitating or stopped the gasp which had filled the air. "No worries. Callie fine."

"You're going to be the death of me. I swear."

While I did spoil my daughter, and I probably did allow her to get away with far too much, I was also one of those overprotective mothers. I panicked at the slightest scrap of the knee, fought anyone who said a bad word about my child, and worried whenever Callie did something I didn't think was safe: even though most kids her age were doing the exact same thing.

It was a habit I needed to break. Especially as she got older. Because no child wanted an overprotective mother who was always over their shoulder, constantly worrying that something was going to happen to them.