I Had Time...

"I hate you!" I screamed, my heart ached in my chest, my eyes burned with my tears. My knees crashed on the floor, I couldn't stand. He had broken me, he had shattered me like glass. My blonde hair fell in golden waves over my face, my hands catching my tears. 

He slammed the door, that bang ringing in my ears for long seconds after. Then I was truly alone, I was alone in my burnt down house looking at that burnt crib. He did this, he did all of this. He killed her, he killed me, it was all his fault. This pain, this agony, that fire took me down with it. My baby was laid to rest, people say she lives on, up on the clouds. 

Sometimes I liked to think there was a heaven, that there was something more then just clouds up there. Beyond these flames, this burning ember flames. 

That smile, those beautiful blue eyes and that those curly golden locks. Burnt away like an old picture, he left her, he left her alone in the other room, she was alone when she died. My baby screamed and no one saved her. No one took her away from the flames. 

She shouldn't have been alone, she shouldn't have been left, no one, no one to hear her. No one to save her. 

My screams, my shouts. When I saw that fire burning away my life, when I saw those flames taking my baby. Eating her like she was nothing, like she was paper. I couldn't save her, I couldn't fight them. I should have been stronger, I should have fought harder for my baby. 

Why her? Why couldn't she have been me? But it was me, I was trapped in that room, trapped in that room, screaming for someone, anyone to save us. Monster! 

My baby. 

Tears, they burn your heart, they show your pain. No one else understands them, no one can stop them. Only you. My heart was ash, my soul was dust and yet I lived on, I lived on because I still had tears to shed and I still had a mind that was lost in time. Someone gave me another chance, whether it was the love of the lord or if it was just as magic as humanities creation.

I had time and that's all I needed.