The Grey(LRH)

Chaper one

I mentally cringe as The sound of James dean and Aubrey Hepburn by Sleeping with sirens filled the silence of my room again for what feels like the hundredth time since i lift my Now ex boyfriend with the saddest look i'd ever seen in his eyes sitting on the ground in our secret place. As the ringtone continues i fight the battle with myself yet again, i dont have the heart to shut my phone off but if I answer him I won't be strong enough to say goodbye again and i know this is the right choice for him in my heart.

  I know that the fact that i just walked away without giving him a choice after four years of dating and almost eleven of best friendship wasn't fair to him. It sounds incredibly selfish to just leave and maybe it is but in reality it feels selfless to me, i know i cant let Him follow me to School in Illinois instead of staying here in California to live his dream of becoming a musician where he belongs. Everyone who knows us knows Luke Hemmings has so much to offer the music world with his amazing voice and natural talent.

As my phone once again falls silent and the feeling of regret returns and i sit on my bed, seeing as its the only place in my room not covered by boxes full of everything I've accumulated over my eighteen years of life. looking around my room a sense of nostalgia mixed with excitement and sadness fills me knowing this will be the last night in my childhood bedroom before my alarm signals  the start of next chapter of my life in a new state surrounded by new people to meet and new things to learn during my journey to become a pediatrician and following my dream.

Being alone and starting over and doing this all on my own scares me but i know this is the right step for me in the long run. I close my eyes as i imagine my future. Soon my thoughts float over to Luke and i remind myself that this is whats best for Luke and i even if saying goodbye was the hardest thing ive ever had to do.

Ive convince myself that if we're meant to be we'll find each other again in the future when the time is right. Through the years Ive dreamed of our future countless times and each time there's always something new to add to the fantasy but the constant through all of them is getting to see Luke on stage in front of thousands of dedicated fans with his three best friends/band mates getting to Make and share the kind of music that they love for people who appreciate him the way i do.

Music has always been a connecting point between the two of us, while music is a big part of both of us Luke has always been the most serious about it. Seeing the way the fire burns inside his eyes while hes writing or while preforming proves just how much he needs to be doing this for the rest of his life.

I close my eyes as i think about My favorite part of every night we spend together when were laying in bed at night right next to each other, wrapped securely in his strong arms, as he sings the song he wrote for me back when we were fifteen and I couldn't sleep.

He would always lay behind me and sing the soft melody in my ear while he made circles with his thumb on my hip instantly calming me no matter what I was feeling. As silly as it sounds just having his words being the last thing i hear before falling asleep helps the melody seeping into my subconscious chasing away any night terrors that may be lurking in the dark parts of my mind. I could never get enough of the heat that radiates from his body that warm every inch of me, just remembering the feeling makes my heart squeeze with longing for him again.

Suddenly im pulled from my almost completely consuming thoughts by the sound of foot steps walking down the hall and straight towards my open door. I quickly decide to keep my eyes closed praying whoever it is assumes I'm asleep and goes away not wanting to be around my family right now. I quietly get my breathing under control and lay there still listening as the footsteps stop at my doorway.

After what feels like an eternity of silence the visitor moves again but not in the direction i wish they would. As the footsteps get closer and closer to me i hear someone sit on one of the bigger boxes next to my bed.

The next thing i know i feel fingers moving a strand of hair from my face tucking it behind my ear, in that moment i know exactly who it is because of the ocean like sent i love that floats off of him and hits my senses.

I breathe it in deeply out of habit, getting lost in it for a moment before the mix of emotions starts welling up in my chest causing my breathing to quicken. I fight to remain still, resisting the pull to open my eyes and stare into his blue eyes. Holding onto the slight chance that this is just a hallucination conjured by my broken and longing heart and not the real boy who's held my heart in his hands since the 7th grade.

"i know your Awake Katrina." He says after a few seconds of heart breaking silence confirming my fear.

He's really here.