Everything Wrong With: Disney Movies

Aladdin

I just want to quickly apologize for my previous mistakes in editing and horrible wording. I'm too lazy to go back and fix it....

Everything wrong with Disney: Aladdin

___________________________

1.) I feel bad for that small guy Jafar hired and then pretty much killed. Even though he did "slit a few throats" as he puts it...

2.) Why is the Cave of Wonders a tiger? Mufasa and Scar's cousin from the Middle East? That must be one hell of a Christmas dinner....

3.) Aladdin is stealing things off the bat in this movie. He steals so much, every guard knows who he is. Does Aladdin even think about what happens to the people he steals from? That one melon you stole could have helped to pay off that man's mortgage. And if it didn't get paid, then he and his family get kicked out of their home. Look who has to steal now, Aladdin. Ripple effect. Learn it.

4.) The palace guards are the ones charging after Aladdin. So he steals a loaf of bread and suddenly they send the highest form of military after him to lock up and/or kill?

"I know how you feel," says Jean Valjean.

5.) While singing his song "One Jump Ahead", Aladdin is at fault for the death of some people. One, a fat guard, while chasing Aladdin, fell on top of a man who was sitting on a bed of nails; that kills one man. Two, Abu- trained by Aladdin- takes a sword out of a sword swallowers mouth, slitting that man's throat. Three, how many men jumped out of that window and into the cart of manure? Three? Four? I know about two were fine, but one guy was face down in that. He could have suffocated or choked. Maybe one guy broke his neck! MY POINT is that if you did not understand my Starkid: Twisted references right off the bat, go Youtube it. Now. Get off Wattpad and youtube Starkid Twisted (PG-13). Do it.

6.) We're all supposed to think Aladdin is a really nice guy after he gives that bread he stole to the children. Aladdin! Those might be the children you forced out of their homes because their father couldn't pay for that melon you stole!!!!!

7.) Good job for taking that whip for the children. That was very heroic. But that guy is a prince. If you so badly want people to stop treating you like a piece of trash, then start acting respectable towards others... Even if that person is an a-hole towards children...

8.) I don't blame Jasmine for setting her tiger on that prince. That guy was using her to get money/power. Plus, she is a highly unstable teenager, like some of the Disney princesses. If I were being forced by my father to marry, being a highly unstable teen myself, full of tons of feels that I must 'Conceal, don't feel', I would not blame myself as well. I would blame Steven Moffat. So I will.

9.) did she just release all those birds??! OH. MY. GOD. Those could have been a rare dying breed. Those birds could have cost more than your kingdom!!! spoiled brat....

10.) Does no one think suspicious of Jafar? I mean, he's got the evil beard. The evil shoulder pads. The evil looking staff...

11.) Like I said in my Frozen EWWD, are there no guards following the princess everywhere and protecting them? Maybe Jasmine wouldn't have run away if there were guards looking after her instead of chasing Aladdin

12.) "Sadly she is my sister. She thinks the monkey is the Sultan." "Oh wise Sultan, how may I serve you."

Improve at its best

13.) Aladdin has an amazing view and no one has come to fix it up, sell it, and make loads of money

14.) 'guy and girl speak at the same time so they understand each other' cliché

15.) I literally just noticed now, while watching the movie again, that the guy who plays the main guard is also Pete; that fat cat that is the villain in Mickey Mouse cartoons

16.) Why are there windows in the dungeon? Guards are just asking for small monkeys to steal their keys and release prisoners.

17.) Abu doesn't find it strange that their are tons of the same carpets everywhere until he turns around sees it moving on its own

18.) The carpet knows the exact lamp they're trying to find without any specific details. Don't give me any of that "But it's the magic lamp!" crap, okay? That place was full of gold and different lamps. There should have been an entire section of lamps like in Indiana Jones with the Genie going "You chose poorly" and stuff like that... XD

19.) Did Aladdin really fall for the whole "Give me the lamp and then I will TOTALLY help you up!"

20.) Did Jafar not notice a monkey take a heavy metal lamp that was somehow managing to sit in his rags?

21.) Let's face it, most of us are still watching for Robin Williams

22.) Disney has to use 'Chump', 'Chump daughter', and 'Chump husband', because this is a children's movie. Can I see an uncensored version of this movie

23.) You think Disney was mocking slavery with Genie? I have no idea

24.) Disney references in a Disney movie (Pinocchio and Sebastian)

25.) Why does Genie turn Abu into an elephant? Why not just give Aladdin an elephant??

26.) Really, Jafar? The Sultan worked so hard on that figurine tower and you just knock it down!

27.) Can we talk about the fact that the Sultan snapped out of the hypnosis because he thinks Jafar is too old for Jasmine?

28.) "One think I pride myself on, Jafar, I am a very good judge of character?"

Really? okay. If you think so...

29.) Will someone please open a banana for Abu? He keeps squishing them with his elephant feet!!! Poor monkey... elephant... Thing...

30.) How does Jasmine not recognize Aladdin? HE'S JUST WEARING DIFFERENT CLOTHES. Sheesh. Even after the 'Do you trust me?', she still doesn't realize Aladdin is really the street rat she met? Jasmine, you don't recognize his voice?!! No, no, of course not! It's the reference to his pet monkey that makes you remember who he is!

A WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!!! 🎶

That's not a sin... I just really like this song....

31.) How did the guards manage to tie up an elephant in a rope trap and tie him to a tree?

32.) The fact that I completed this list but Wattpad didn't save it is making me add a sin....

33.) Even though the guards had linked their arms around Jafar, he still managed to get away

34.) Aladdin makes the stupid decision of leaving the lamp unattended. I know it has to do with the entire plot line, but come on Al!

35.) Jafar stole the Sultan's clothes instead of just getting up his own pair. Let's be honest, the Sultan wouldn't care if Jafar showed up with the same clothing. He'd just be like,"Hey, Twinsies!!!"

36.) So after stealing the Sultan's clothing, Jafar wishes to become a powerful sorcerer and gets his old clothing back. Alrighty then. Thanks for the dramatic costume change. Now give the old man his clothing.

37.) There is no possible way Aladdin would be able to survive a second in that blizzard after growing up with the heat.

38.) What happened to all the peasants during those five minutes Jafar was sultan?

39.) Jafar should be easily able to fit in the lamp since he can manipulate hit size. But Iago too? How did he fit in that thing??

40.) Why didn't the Sultan change the law in the first place so Jasmine could have found a husband sooner or at the very least, she wouldn't have had to marry Jafar

___________________________

Total sins: 40

Punishment: Itty-bitty living space

Hey guys!

What movie should I do next? you decide :)

Thanks for reading!