Everything Wrong With: Disney Movies

Cinderella

Everything Wrong With Disney: Cinderella

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1.) Cinderella is a morning person

2.) Cinderella has a nude scene with mice and birds helping wash her. Am I the only one that finds that a bit creepy?

3.) That dog was having such a nice dream. Then Cindy here had to be a jerk and wake him up.

4.) Cinderella names the new mouse Octavius but then decides the perfect nickname is Gus. How did you reach than conclusion? That's like getting Bill from William or Bob from Robert.

5.) Cinderella doesn't make a shirt to fit Gus so she stuffs him into a small one. Conclusion: Cinderella abuses animals

6.) How many flights of stairs are there before you reach the attic that Cindy lives in? I counted more than 10. That is awful architecture right there.

7.) How the hell is she managing to balance a tray on her head? I can barely do that with a paperback book...

8.) I don't understand why Cinderella is still in that house. Isn't she a legal adult? If I were her, I would've dumped the tea on the girls' heads and left in style and glory.

9.) Evil Step-Mother is stroking a cat evilly cliché

10.) None of the mice educate Gus on stealing corn nor help him carry all of his pieces.

11.) If these people are so rich, why don't they hire a professional to teach the step sister how to sing? Who taught Cinderella how to sing? Singing isn't a natural talent. That is, unless you're the good guy. In that case, singing means you are the good guy. I guess that means I'm not the good guy in my own life since I sound like a dying horse when I sing....

12.) Lucifer is a jerk. Who trained this cat? Why hasn't Cinderella let the dog eat Lucifer yet??!! Come on, Cindy. Live a little!!!! Blaming Steven Moffat for not teaching her how to be evil, like he has taught me. (Btw, if you want to see how evil I can be, watch some of my videos on my tumblr at i-like-bakerst-now-bakersts-cool)

13.) Can someone please freaking explain how the mice and birds can create a better dress than most humans? So much for being superior. You know. With thumbs and stuff. Guess all the mice just decided against Darwin and laughed in his face..? Ok...

14.) What was the logic behind sending the smartest mouse with the stupidest mouse to get beads? They should have let them sew instead. I'm just gonna go all put and say it was that female mouse's fault for being sexist and saying 'Leave the sewing to the women'.

15.) That cat is a huge pain in everybody's butt

16.) Why would the step sisters rip apart Cinderella's dress? Personally, I would have forced her to take it off and wear it instead.

17.) how does Cindy not realize her head has been lifted up at least seven inches when she's crying on the bench, and the fairy godmother appears?

*tune of Fairly Odd Parents*

CINDY WAS AN ORPHAN

WHO NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

MOM AND DAD WERE BOTH DEAD, LEAVING HER WITH LADY TRAMAINE (Clean, twerp!)

MICE AND BIRDS UP IN HER ROOM

HELP HER INSTANTLY

CRY UPON A BENCH AND SHE WILL APPEAR

CAUSE IN REALITY

SHE IS HER GODMOTHER

HER FAIRLY GODMOTHER

WANDS AND SPELLS, MAKE MAGIC THINGS

GODMOTHER

FAIRLY GOD MOTHER

BIPPITY BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO

18.) I think I may deserve a sin for spending fifteen minutes on that...

19.) She turned the dog... into a coach man. HOW THE HELL IS THW DOG SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.

20.) Was the prince supposed to keep bowing at women until he found one attractive enough to dance with?

21.) How do Lady Tramaine and the step sisters not realize that it's Cinderella? SHE'S JUST WEARING DIFFERENT CLOTHES. We have the same problem with Aladdin!!!

22.) How much do you think the guy who voiced the prince got paid? His only lines were "Stop!" or "Wait!" or "Find her!"

23.) I know in the original story the stairs are covered with tar and that's why her shoe falls off. But Disney didn't include that, so how did it fall off?

24.) The guards must be really bad at hunting if they can't follow the tracks Cindy left while running.

25.) Poor Jaq and Gus have to travel down those ten flights of stairs to get the key from Lady Tramaine, then climb back up WITH THE KEY to unlock Cinderella from the attic. Geez.

26.) Everyone saw her! Why do they not look for a BLONDE who has BLUE EYES and narrow it down from there?!! No one can recognize anyone in this movie!!!!!

27.) I know this may be getting two personal, but where was Cinderella hiding that glass shoe? She just pulls it out of her back pocket...? ok... if you say so....

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Total Sins: 27

Punishment: "When the clock strikes midnight, the spell will be broken" and you will be ugly again.