Wrist Cutter ~ A Levi × Reader FanFic

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Blood. It was all around me, separated into puddles. I'd cut much deeper than yesterday. My eyes were blurred and I felt dizzy. I crashed to the floor, absorbing the crimson liquid with my clothes. A smirk spread across my face as my eyes began closing. Then, black. I thought I was dead, hoped I was dead, praying it had worked. But no. The cruel world kept me alive. I hated it...

I awoke in the infirmary, it was dark and I was confused. A raven haired male sat next to me, fidgeting. At first I didn't recognise them, but when he spoke...
"Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?!"
Captain Levi Ackerman. He stood and started shaking me, yelling at me questions, but his voice was just a ringing in my ear. I didn't understand a word. He clutched my hands and started pointing at my wrists. I lay there, emotionless, as he recalled what I had done. Suddenly, he flung his arms around me. It startled me, made my eyes widen. I was still perplexed, hadn't a clue what to say. He tightened his grip on me, mumbling words I couldn't hear. Then I heard footsteps, someone coming towards me. The shadow of a female. She pulled Levi away from me and ushered him out of the room with force. I couldn't hear her words either, they were muffled. She left the room, I was alone. I sat up, a slight pain as I did so. I tried looking around, everything was still blurry though. The blur of a red liquid lay around me, everywhere. My eyes focused. Blood. That was the red liquid. I looked around again, the infirmary was empty. My wrists stung, pain shooting me violently. I tried to stand up but fell straight to the floor. I was weak, had no strength or energy inside me. The door suddenly flung open, making a loud echoey noise through the room.
"Y/N! Y/N!" A voice called out to me, it was barely recognisable but I still knew it. A part of me knew it. A silhouette ran over to my collapsed body. It lifted me up and lied me back on the bed, my eyes blurred again. They seem to only focus on things I don't want to see. The silhouette bandaged my wrists and started crying. My eyes focused slightly and I got a glimpse of their hair before they blurred for a third time. It was a light brown with a dark undercut. I thought of someone to match the hair. Jean Kirchstein. He was the only cadet who had hair like that. I listened to him cry, trying to make out a familiar voice. Yes, it was him. The last time I'd heard him cry was when another cadet, Marco Bodt, was killed, his cause of death still unknown. Jean started muttering, of course, I couldn't understand a thing. He then rapidly dashed out of the room, wiping tears away quickly.
I sighed and stared at the ceiling. It was rather boring laying on a scarlet dyed bed with nothing to do. I propped myself upright, my head spinning as I did so.
"Lie back down." I heard that voice. I heard it clearly.
"I said, lie back down Y/N." I looked around and then my eyes met with a figure leaning against a wall. The figure approached me, I recognised them as they did so. Levi. He gently pushed me down by the shoulders, I complied.
"You need to rest." He put his hand on my cheek and frowned. My eyes widened, he was never soft like this, not to my knowledge anyway. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. He stood, nodded at me, and left the room without a peep. I sat back up immediately, swung my legs round the bed, and balanced on my feet. I was proud, I was standing. My energy and strength were slowly restoring there selves. I took a trembling step forward, then another one speeding up the pace as I walked. It turned into a run and before I knew it I was running outside, in front of the soldiers. They pointed and started running after me, for some reason though, they couldn't catch me. I can't have been that fast. I kept running without any idea where I was heading. Then I accidentally made eye contact with Levi. He started chasing me, much faster than the others. I reached a wall and hauled myself up onto it. Levi was only short, he couldn't climb it. The force dyed the bandages on my wrist a dark red, it squeezed blood out from the wounds. I jumped off the other side and leant over, throwing up blood. My legs gave way and I fell down. Then, a voice.
"You thought you'd got away eh?"
It was Levi again, he'd tricked me. He'd fooled me by making it look like he couldn't get over, but of course he could. How could I have been so stupid?! His hands suddenly reached out for my hair, I avoided them and crawled under before running for the second time. It was tiring and I was in pain, but I didn't care. My current target, was to die. I didn't care how, I just wanted to be dead. I looked back, Levi was not chasing me. He just stood there and watched me disappear into the distance. I stopped, confused. Why wasn't he chasing me? Did he give up on saving me?
"Idiot." A hand grabbed me by the shoulder from behind. I yelped and spun around. Erwin. He threw me over his shoulder, I squirmed, desperate to be free.
"Let me go you bastard! I don't want to keep being saved! Why'd you think I keep running away?!"
Erwin ignored my childish actions.
"I'd let you go if it wasn't for Levi. He told me that if I didn't save you, he'd leave the Survey Corps, and I can't have that."
I stopped moving as tears filled my eyes. "W-What do you mean? Why would Levi want me alive?"
"Ask him."
I tried blinked back my tears, but they still escaped, streaming down my face like waterfalls....