Dead But Alive

chapter two: drifted

I don't even remember being buried. I don't remember anything since entering the tiny town of Aaron, Alaska.

Since I died.

I spend hours and hours racking my brain. Ransacking old memories to find the truth. To weed out the reality from the hallucinations.

Sometimes I actually try to escape. Try to move again, try to open my eyes. Try to sit up and open the door and climb out through the dirt.

But it's hopeless. My legs no longer seem connected to the neurons in my brain. My arms are weak, heavy, and I can't find them under the dirt. My neck seems stiff, immovable, as if my whole body has turned to a statue. My eyes are glued shut, dust and dirt holding them closed. I haven't seen anything for 33 days, 4 hours, and 7 minutes.

I actually wonder if maybe I have been fossilized. Petrified in dirt forever, somehow alive beneath the ground.

And sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm dead.

But no, because despite the stillness of my underground world, there are several things I am aware of.

I feel the throbbing beat of my heart against my ribs. I feel the rush of blood pumping through my body.

I feel the aching need to escape.

But there is no hope left. What can I do? I can't even cry in frustration.

There is no room for tears. There is no air. I don't even know how I'm alive. How I've both physically and mentally survived.

But at the end of the day, there is still nothing I can do to get out.

So I fall back into my memories, reliving again the way this all started.

OK, these first ones have been a bit slow and short, so just stick with me! I promise I'll try to make it more exciting. If you like it, please let me know! I would love to hear constructive criticism and/or anything I'm doing right. Thanks for reading!! :)