Random thoughts?... I think...

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Outer space isn’t empty, it literally contains everything there is.

It’s not possible for Wolverine to get circumcised.

When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don’t think we are running from or to something.

How do vampires always look so neat and tidy if they can’t see themselves in the mirror?

If you drop an Oreo you can still safely eat two thirds of it.

There’s only one sunset, and it’s been going around the earth for billions of years.

What does my mirror look like when I’m not looking at it?

Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew on their army knife.

In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.

If you did something “like a boss,” you’d probably just pay someone else to do it.

Wrong is spelled wrong in the dictionary.

Mothers only get a day, but sharks get a whole week.

Can Chewbacca even say Chewbacca? Shouldn’t his name be something like Rawwwraaraar?

Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.

If the “Fresh Prince” had made that shot, there’d be no show.

Morgan Freeman’s voice sounds even better in his own head.

Wake up earlier on weekends. Now you get to sleep in for 5 days a week instead of two.

Nikola Tesla is now best known for not being well known.

As Andy grew older, all of his toys had to sit motionless and watch him m̶a̶s̶t̶u̶r̶b̶a̶t̶e.

The word ambiguous only has one meaning.

Deaf people probably don’t understand why farts are funny.

If you live to be 70 years old you will spend TEN YEARS of your life on Monday.

Sometime in the future, someone will say your name for the last time.

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