Finally We're Done Playing Games

Chapter 13: One Step Closer

"How is it that you keep talking about you giving Dinah babies in songs but you can't actually do it by yourself?"

Camila asked in the chair next to me. The two other producers in the room snickered as I scoffed shaking my head.

"The same way you sing about how much you love sex yet the last time you had sex was....."

I stopped in a questioning tone making her gasp and hit me on my arm as the others in the room laughed at us. I laughed too, turning towards the producers.

"Hey we'll pick this up later this week. I gotta head back home."

They nodded, packing up their stuff before heading out. I was doing the same thing while Camila continued to sit and look over lyric sheets, speaking after being silent for almost a minute.

"So I'm guessing because of this you and Dinah are good now?"

I looked behind me, barely seeing the sheet of paper. I chuckled a little bit shook my head, remembering when I wrote All Night hoping that the lyrics would eventually come true.

"Not exactly."

Camila started reading off a piece of the lyrics making me laugh but not really as I waited for her to finish.

"They say true love's the greatest weapon
To win the war caused by pain
But every diamond has imperfections
But my love's too pure to watch it chip away
Nothing real can be threatened
True love breathes salvation back into me
With every tear came redemption
And my torturer became my remedy.... Sounds like you're trying. And you having to 'get home'."

"If I don't keep up appearances then I'd have to explain something to millions of people who don't have a right to have an opinion on our life. Plus that song I wrote with Beyoncé."

"The last song you wrote with Beyoncé was also about you and Dinah as well."

"Camila..."

I started but didn't really know what to say. Since the Grammy's two weeks ago nothing really changed. I never actually ended up going back to New York because everything I had to do was based in California. So it was just weeks of working around each other.

"Have you even talked to her about it yet? I mean you wanted her to talk about Malo and not wanting to have kids anymore and the doctor thing and the lack of music she was making. But now she actually wants to talk to you and you say no?"

I sighed, stopping myself from packing and sitting back in the chair next to Camila. This was the last thing I wanted to talk about, but if it got Camila to back off even a little then I was all for it.

"Yes. I did. Because, individually, those were all little things comparatively. And when big things happen with us, we take space and then come back and talk. The last time I pushed her to listen to me because I wanted us to talk it out, we broke up because it was too much at one time. She had her mind set and no time to think about how crazy it all was. And everything was piling on and then boom. It was over. When we're mad, we say things we don't mean and the last thing I want is for her to try and explain this to me and I don't hear what I want to and say I want a divorce just because I know that those four words would destroy her. I'm trying to calm myself down but every single time I work out different scenarios of how the conversation could go, I get pissed beyond belief because I still can't believe she would do it behind my back like that after we already argued about it before and came to the conclusion that she just needs to be out of both of our lives completely. I just need time to get my own anger under control first."