When we are born, as girls we are told,"One day prince charming will come to sweep you off of your feet." What if I don't want prince charming to sweep me off my feet? What if I want to sweep some beautiful girl off of her feet? What if I want to be someone's prince charming? I love girls so much! I could never imagine myself being with a man. Girls make me happy but that's not acceptable in my society. So forever I hid my true feelings and when people found out... Hello, my name is Mariah, and this is my story.
Mariah's POV
"Mariah, getcho ass up right now! If I don't get to sleep past 6 then neither do you!" My mother does this every morning. I'm dressed and I'm on my way out the door but she wouldn't know. She's drunk as hell like she is every other day. I'm so ready to leave this house. 2 more years. That's it. I get my house key and walk out the door. I'm a 16 year old sophomore. I've never had a boyfriend, and I only have one friend. Her name is Angel and she is the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. Don't worry, I'm not a predatory gay or anything like that. If I happen to fall in love with a straight girl I won't say anything. Plus, Angel doesn't even know I'm gay, but I don't think she would care because she is my best friend. "Getcho ass in this car girl! I'm trynna go home and get a extra hour of sleep." she yells at out the window at me. So I pick up the pace and get in the car.
*Gym class at school*
So, I just got out the shower in the locker room and I'm trying to find my clothes. I don't see my gym clothes of my school clothes. No, not again. Then I hear foot steps. "You looking for these Mariah?" Amanda, the meanest bitch I've ever meant says while dangling my clothes in front of me. They seem to be wet. "Amanda, what did you do to my clothes?!" "Oh, they just swam in a little toilet water." she says wile looking me directly in my eyes. I know what you're thinking by now. This is a cliche story about a gay girl getting bullied until she just couldn't take it anymore, That's not me. I stuck up for myself. So when she said that I go over there and punch her in the face. And of course she's not going to just let me hit her. So we started to fight. And we kept fighting and fighting and finally I got the upper hand, I was on top of her. But naked.(I had totally forgot I didn't have clothes on.) Punching her over and over again. I was so sick and tired of this bullshit. This is for every rude word she said to me. This is for the physical and mental abuse she put me through. This is for the physical and mental abuse my mother put me through. I was taking all my anger out on her and I just could not stop hitting her. Then the next class comes in. Girls filing in to change their clothes. I didn't care though. It didn't matter to me if I got caught. She deserved everything she was getting. Amanda realized other people were in the locker room and she started screaming for help. Girls ran back to the showers. Some just watched and some took pictures but I still didn't stop. Now this is when the story gets real fucked up. If I didn't mention it before, let me mention it now. She's been giving me shit since we were little girls. I never hit her until today, but I always SAID SOMETHING to defend myself. Back to the story though. As I said earlier, this is when the story gets real fucked up. So I'm punching Amanda in the face, right? Then, all of a sudden, 2 females grab my arms from either side and hold me up against the wall. Then everybody yells "Get her back A, get her back!" So Amanda starts punching me and kicking me. She kicked me in my vagina multiple times, and remember, I'm naked. So she just keeps kicking me and punching me and I can't move because these girls are holding me. And finally, she puts me out of my misery and punches me in my face knocking me out.
*1 week later*
So I've been in the hospital for a while. The injuries were pretty severe, but I'm used to it. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though. My body feels broken. See, this is what happens when you stick up for yourself. It's been a week since I've looked at my phone but that's because I've just not felt like dealing with the drama that I'm going to see when I look at it. I know it's going to be bad because it always is. I just didn't know it was gonna be this bad. When I look at it I see I have over 100 notifications and about 50 messages. I open one of the a notifications from facebook and I see a picture of me on top of Amanda from the fight. The caption is "Mariah Bynes tries to rape Amanda Wallas. We knew this girl was gay, but we didn't know she was a rapist." My heart drops. I open another notification and I see a video of them jumping me. the caption was " They got that bitch back." Over 20,000 views. Life is gonna be even more like hell than it already was when I get out of this hospital. I'm not gonna cry even though I want to. I have to save my tears. I can't let them fall. I look at the text messages and they are all from my best friend, Angel. She told me she could never be friends with a gay girl and that she knew that I was in love with her. She told me to stay away from her. To never talk to her again. We've been friends since we were five. Se's gonna throw it all away over rumors that she doesn't even know are true. Now, I can't help but to shed tears. I can't take other people hating me for who I am event though it hurts. But I can't take that from my best friend. Sorry for being me Angel....
*2 weeks later*
I can't take this anymore. I don't have any friends. I don't have any family. I get beat up everyday. Life just ain't for me anymore. Since I'm such a burden in so many people's lives and since I'm this disgusting being that shouldn't be allowed to live I'm just gonna die. So I'm leaving this to just tell you one of the stories that lead to my death. Yes, I am a gay girl who killed herself. Yes, I am a girl who was being bullied. But I didn't kill myself because I was a gay girl getting bullied. I killed myself because I was alone. See words do hurt and all the things that people did and said to me killed me inside . But I would have been able to handle it if I had one person there with me. To help me get through it. So yeah I'm giving up. But the people who were supposed to care about me gave up on me a long time ago. I never thought about killing myself a day in my life until I lost my best friend. Cause in that moment I knew that I would no longer to be able to handle everything that was happening to me. So goodnight everybody......
Omniscient POV
So Mariah killed herself. She slit her wrists from the top all the way down her arm. And she hung herself. The moral of this story is, if you see someone upset, even if it's someone you are not particularly cool with, say something. If you see someone getting bullied, say something. Step up. You never know what someone is going through. Mariah's mom killed herself after finding her daughter and reading this story. But not with a gun, a knife, pills, or a rope. She drank herself to death. She quit her job and she drank until her kidneys failed. Angel went into deep depression. She felt really bad. Amanda got arrested. And that school was never the same again. Love is love. Don't let go. If anyone reading this story needs someone, my number is 870-209-3327. And if you cant reach me the suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. And if I'm not dead I'll answer or I'll text back. I hope you enjoyed the story. Good Night everybody ......
