You can't help who you fall in love with... (One Direction fanfic)

[C.12] Secrets out

#CHAPTER 12#

*Jess’s POV*

I ran, I didn’t know where I was running, but I ran. Then I came upon the toilets, I must have looked a right mess, so I went inside. I began wiping away my tears. Why did Zayn have to like me? I mean I like him too but it was just so complicated.

“Jess! What’s wrong?” Georgia asked sypathetically, running into the toilets after me. She pulled me into a comforting hug. I sobbed into her shoulder, soaking her t-shirt. She put her arm around me and began slowly walking me back towards the café.

“Zayn, he likes me”

“But why are you so sad about it? I thought you’d be happy?”

“After today, I’m never going to get to see him again. And I’d only be heartbroken!”

“But if you were to start dating him, today wouldn’t be the last day you saw him!”

“Yes but, I don’t think I could deal with all of that fame of being Zayn Maliks girlfriends. I mean, can you imagine all the hate?”

“I don't think you'd get too much hate."

“Georgia, do you remember how all of my other relationships ended?”

“Sure, they weren’t too good, but with zayn I’m sure it wouldn’t end that bad” she pulled me into another hug. My other two relationships ended badly, I’m finally talking to my first ex again. But me and my last ex still refuse to talk, everytime we walk past eachother we ignore eachother. If we ever accidently make eye contact we both look away straight away. We hate eachother, which is a shame as we used to be such good friends.

“I never wanted to fall for him, it just happened, but I thought if I didn’t say it aloud, the feelings would disapear and I wouldn’t be heart broken.”

“It’s going to be okay Jess, you and Zayn just need to talk this out.” She comforted me. We reached the café. Harry and Zayn were sat at the table. Zayn had his head in his hands and was staring down at the table. I felt terrible, he risked rejection to tell me how he felt, and I humiliated him. I was causing him so much pain, I don’t know what he saw in me.

We walked over to the table, I could feel my heart beat increase.  Harry gave me a comforting hug and told me to talk to Zayn. Harry and Georgia walked over to another table and talked. I sat in the seat opposite zayn.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled

“A simple ‘I don’t like you in that way zayn’ would have been fine”  he raised his voice, angrily.

“I do though!” I raised my voice abit louder than his.

“Then why won’t you even look me in the eyes!?” he shouted at me, slamming his hands down on the table. Receiving a few looks from other customers. Tears flowed down my face.

“Because I didn’t want to fall for you and then get my heart broken!” I yelled back.

“But I’m not going to brake your heart!”

“I’m so unlucky in love, all my relationships end badly. And I really didn’t want this one to so I decided that if I didn’t even have a relationship I couldn’t suffer anymore heartbreak”

“Jess, I would never let any harm come to you!”

“I know that, I just didn’t want to risk it.”

“Jess, I really like you. And I hate the fact that I’m making you cry right now, I hate myself for doing this to you.”

“Zayn, it’s not your fault. I just struggle to trust people.”

“Why”? he asked sympathetically.

“Can we go somewhere more quiet?” i asked.

“Sure, I think theres a small park over the road.”

We arrived at the park and went and sat on a bench in the far corner, behind all of the trees so that we were out of view.

“So why can’t you trust easily?” he asked me, holding my hands inside of his. I felt safe with him, I knew I could trust him, I just found it hard.

“Last year my parents split up” I told him “But, I haven’t told any one why they did, not even the girls. You’ll be the first person I’ve ever told.”I explained. He tightened his grip on my hands.

“My dad was having an affair with my mum’s sister. When I grew up, I never liked him anyway, he was cruel and hipocritical. He would never allow me to have my own opinion. He didnt like me or my mum having any friends either. I know it upsets my mum that I don’t like him, she just wants me to get on with my dad. He won’t leave me alone either, he’s constantly texting me and phoning me to see who I’m with and what im doing. If I ignore his text he just keeps phoning me. I don’t want to see him but he wants to see me and my brother, he doesn’t know that I don’t like him. He’s always lying and he’s so nasty. He’ll just turn up at our house and expect to see us, he’s horrid.” I weeped. Zayn pulled me into a hug and I cryed into his chest, I felt safe in his arms. In that moment I raised my head and looked up into his goregous eyes for the first time.

*Zayn’s POV*

I didn’t know what to say, I just pulled into a tight hug and she cried into my chest, we must have been sat like that for 5 minutes, it felt so right, us being together like that. I could feel my shirt getting soaked with her tears, but I didn’t care. What she told me about her dad made me cry, I wiped the tears away before she could notice.

Suddenly she stopped weeping into my chest. Slowly she raised her head and looked straight into my eyes. Her beautiful hazel eyes were filed with tears. I raised my hand and wiped away the tears streaming down her face.

“What makes it worse is that my dad feeds all of these lies to me and my brother, Sam.  I know they’re lies but my brother believes him. Sam’s got autism so he get’s angry when he hears the lies and shouts and hits my mum. The other day he tried to push her down the stairs. It’s horrible to watch.” She sobbed some more. I pulled her into another hug.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise” I whispered into her ear. She looked back into my eyes and smiled. I leaned forward and kissed her forhead, her cheeks turned a crimson colour. Even when she was embaressed, she was beautiful.

“Have you been bottling all of that up for years Jess?”

“Yeah”

“You shouldn’t it’s not good you know”

“I know, I just didn’t want to tell the girls.”

“Well, you’ve told me now, and I’m not going to let any more pain come your way.” I told her. She smiled.

“I know you won’t. I trust you, I know you won’t break my heart.”

“I won’t, I could never upset you, seeing how upset you ealier just broke my heart.” She leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.

“You’re so sweet Zayn” she smiled.

“I think we should get back to the others” I said, standing up. I pulled my hood back up, to hide my face abit from any paps near by. And together we both walked back to the ice rink.