Stay

chapter 12

When I finally got inside the house I switched on the lights and noticed an empty mug on the ambassador's table by the window facing the driveway. I got the mug and felt that it was still a little warm thinking that it must have been Nanna's I got it and went to the kitchen to tell her of my day. But she was not in the kitchen and so I cleaned the mug and was just glad that she decided to stay with the children while I was at work. With Maria and her helping out I couldn't ask for more.

I made instructions for the children to be settled in the guest room turned office but when I went in there the room was empty. So I climbed the stairs and went to check on the boys.  I was relieved to see them sleeping peacefully and bent down to kiss on each one. William stirred and I whispered that he go back to sleep and hugged him.

I was debating whether I should check on my husband but remembering the breakfast that he prepared this morning and all the mornings after we got married I decided to knock on the door and open it. 

Amidst the lies and deceit that he did to me my heart went out to him as I looked at him staring out the window he looked so lost and defeated. He turned to look at me when I opened the door.

"I saw you getting out of the car. It was the same car that brought you home in two days now. With the lights on I was able to see what you two were doing inside" He said calmly.

"Who is he? Is he someone you're considering to replace me?" He asked after a minute.

I have rehearsed every conversation I would have with him but never in my life I thought that the accusation would be thrown at me. The absurdity of the situation had caused me to laugh hysterically.

When I sobered up, I throw the accusation back at him. "How dare you ask that question? That guy you saw me with is the most respectable guy I know. I hugged him because he cares enough about me. He understands what I'm going through this marriage with you." I said. Then without hesitation on my part I continued.

"I know about you and the new English teacher Gwyneth Adams. How do you think I feel every time you came home each night knowing you spent the night with her?" She couldn't control the rising of her voice. Though she tried to lower it for the children not to hear them.

"Can you even understand the agony I feel when you behave around the house like there's nothing wrong? Like there is no other woman that you are keeping? How can you even dare to touch me after you have been with her?" Emboldened by her newfound confidence she continued to say.

"You turned my life upside down the moment I saw you at the Buffalo inn. You made me feel insignificant, useless and above all undesirable. For days I tried to find a reason why you did what you did. But I came up empty. I have been a good wife and a good mother. I've kept this house for you and the children but still it wasn't enough for you." Crying out her pains and heartaches for the past weeks she said.

"It was just a good thing that I've kept my sanity intact. That I've channeled every heartaches and pains you gave me to build up myself.  I was so scared, really scared that you would leave me and the kids. I didn't know what I will do. I was so dependent on you.

But do you know what is the good thing about all this? In what you did? Is that I've found myself. So don't you dare ask me if I'm having an affair. Because I'm not like you. I don't have your cheating bones. And I'm strong enough now to file for a divorce if you want one. " she said all those things while crying. To her surprise he was crying too. Why is he crying?

Then suddenly she is in his arms. She pushed him away but he held on to her tightly. She squirmed within his hold. But with an agonized voice he said. "Honey I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Yes, I have cheated on you and I wished to God you haven't found out. It was just a moment of weakness and lust. Please don't leave me I love you!" Alex cried and holding her still he kneeled on one knee clutching her waist and burying his face in her abdomen.

She expected denial and anger from him. What she didn't expect was for him to be sorry and asking for her forgiveness. And she would be a fool not to forgive. She still loves him so much despite the heartaches he has given her.

The past weeks flashed before her. But her heart is jumping for joy. She felt his heartfelt apology and her heart melted at the sincerity of his voice and actions.