Stay

chapter 3

Emily had gone to her mother's that weekend bringing the children with her. She poured out her heartaches and pains to her mother. Alex still has no idea that she had known of his affair. She wanted to lay everything out before she will take her next action. She doesn't want to jeopardize her children.

Alex had called telling her that he will come to collect them that Sunday evening. The children were happy to know that their father will be joining them. Her mother treated Alex as though nothing had happened.  She noted that Alex was comfortable in the presence of her mother. Looking at him no one would think that he has cheated on his family.

How could she break things with him knowing that his children will be broken too? It pains her to think her children will be deprived of a happy home. Their father is the apple of their eye.

They went home that night with her pretending that everything is all right. She still doesn't have the courage to confront him. She's afraid. And above all, she's a coward.

If it was somebody else a fight would have already break out and a divorce would be on the way. But that was one thing she can't afford. She doesn't want to impose on her parents. And most of all she don't want to uproot her children of the only home they have known.

Kenny had called her again. And since she wanted to vent out she dropped everything that she's doing and meet him. Leaving her children with Nanna. She was just thankful that her neighbor is willing to take care of her children.

After spending half the afternoon with her friend Alex came to collect her. Once inside the car he helped her with her seatbelt.  Then running the car he glanced at her and said.
"Honey please next time you plan to spend the afternoon off with your friends you inform me. So I can arrange my schedule to be home earlier."

"It was unexpected. I just felt like getting out of the house and unwind." She replied.

"The children were asking for you. And wondering where you have gone. They have been bugging me for hours to get you." Alex informed her and with a smile on his lips. He loved them too.

When we arrived back at the house I noticed my little boys were eagerly watching the car as Alex parked it. And when I stepped out my youngest came running towards me.

I repressed the tears threatening to erupt from my eyes when William uttered his concern. Alex was right my boy was really anxious for his mom.

"Mommy I am worried that you haven't come back yet," William said.

"I am fine I was just visiting with my friends. "

Alex gathered the kids for their dinner while I went out to check my plants. This is one hubby I couldn't live without. It relaxes me and helps me to think clearly.

When the children had eaten Alex came to ask me if I wanted dinner since he knew that Kenny and I have ordered pizza. I told him that I am full and so he proceeded to eat by himself.

I took over in taking care of the children and preparing them for bed. Alex came in the bedroom to bid the children good night and to give them their kiss. I was picking up clothing from the floor and toys when Alex grabbed my hand and asked.

"Is something the matter? You don't seem yourself these past few days." He asked.

It was a good opening for me to tell him what I know and to confront him but I am a coward.

"Everything's fine. It's just that I'm not feeling well these past few days." I replied.

And when the children fell asleep I came out of their room to find Nanna waiting for me in the kitchen.  She had the pot of coffee ready. Once I was seated she held both of my hands.

"Nanna thank you for watching the kids for me. I can't express how grateful I am for what you've done."

"It was nothing but I was glad to be of help," Nanna interjected.

"When you called and told me what happened, I knew that you need to take the time off to clear your head. And you can't do that here in this house and with all the children demanding your attention. So think nothing of it." Nanna hugged me at the same time she said those words.

Nanna stood up to say her goodbye bringing her mug of coffee with her and said she will just finish it at home.

I looked at the living room and Alex was lounging there watching TV.  What will he do if I will confront him? Will he push for a divorce? Or would he asked for forgiveness and promise to stop his affair? These are the questions I have no intention of asking.

And if the divorce will push through what will happen after the divorce?  Where would we live? And would Alex find the time to visit his kids? Would he still be involved with their lives?  Or would he become a stranger to them? Could he spend time on my children's birthdays?

Maybe I should just swallow my pride and keep on pretending that I know nothing of his affair.
At least for now both boys have him. And they have his love at the moment. But when will it last? Would he push for a divorce later on?

I should reign in my temper and keep my sanity together because if I go crazy now I would lose my children and my home.  The only home they have known. I should not rock the boat this early and simply pretend I know nothing of his affair so he wouldn't be driven to seek for a divorce at this moment. I am not ready for it. I need more time so I can fight for my children's custody and keeping the house my children have grown in.