Never Giving Up On Us.

Chapter 2(continued)

        We have been in Canada for about two months now, and Justin has started slipping back into old habits. It has really taken a tole on our marriage. I realize more and more everyday that Justin is going to struggle with the temptation of drugs and alchohal. Also, he is always going to be hanging out with the wrong crowd. I spent so much of my time trying to keep him distracted after he got out of rehab in 2015.

        But now that he is hanging out with the group of people and doing drugs it has started causing fights. We always fight, but its never bad. It'll last a few mintues then we are fine. But these fights are bad. We fight because I contront him about him doing drugs and what not, and I tell him that I don't like it. So he gets mad at me because he wants to do it and he doesn't want me to tell him what to do and what not to do.

        We fight almost every single night when he gets home. It got to a point where the fight got physical. I couldn't take that so I packed my stuff and the kids stuff, and I left. All I ever want for him is to be happy and healthy. It was clear that I wasn't making him happy. So I didn't see any reason to stay with him in Canada. Even though it killed me to leave. I didn't ike the non-stop fighting. No one needs to hear it and worry. So, leaving was the best option. No matter how hard I try we fight every night. I hate argueing with him. We are supposed to be happy together, not unhappy.

        All he did was push me away and resist my help. So I got on the first flight back to L.A. the same night. Justin stayed with his family and friends back in Canada. I just needed a break away from all the drama. I know we are still fairly young, but he has two beautiful little babies and me. Also he has his belieber's that he needs to be there for. I am just out of ideas to get him back to how he was before we came to Canada.

        The second night back in L.A. all that is happening is Justin blowing up my phone. He keeps calling me, facetiming me, texting me, tweeting me. I just can't bring myself to anwer him back. I am just drained. I am slowly giving up on us. But, I can't because I love and care about him way to much. I don't and I can't give up on us.. Our kids need us to be together, I need us to be together. But he needs to know he is wrong, and he needs to fight of us. Not just let these things happen and except me to forget about it. But, right now, I can't talk to him. I still need time.

        He is all I have ever wanted since we met at that M&G. The first time we laid eyes on each other, I could feel it. It was love right then. Yeah, it may sound super cheesy, but it is the truth. He had me at that moment. All I ever wanted was to be with him for the rest of my life.

        Now that I have him, I don't want to lose him. He has been the best thing to happen to me. Before I met him I used to hate who I was. I used to hurt myself because I never felt good enough. Then when it came time to meet the one person that saved me, he made me feel like I was so important and that I was beyond good enough.

        I just want things to go back to the way it was. I know he is amazing, and he isn't doing this to intentionally hurt me. Its the drugs and alcohol. So I don't blame him. I just needed a break from it all. To find why I fell in love with him and grasp that things will be fine.