All We Had

Weak Three

Andy,

She was on life support. They only gave her two weeks. Her parents couldn't stand to have a machine breathing for her. Worst of all, she's never waking up. We all stood there around her bed. That day is now known as the worst day of my life. They pulled her plug. Stopped her heart. Her organs failed. There will never be brain activity. She will never walk another step. Take another picture. They turned off the contraption. The one thing keeping her "alive". She obviously wasn't really living. What is living anymore. They turned her off. The machine sent a shrill, maddening beep throughout the small, terrifying room. I waited for something to happen. I wanted to save her. So I did. I stepped up and manually pumped her heart. Her skin was already cold and dead. I wasn't sure what I was doing. Strangely no one tried to stop me. I pushed on her chest. The machine went quiet. She had a heart beat. It was the only thing I could think to do. Keep her heart beating. I knew it didn't do anything. I knew I could've just waited for her to die because it was going to happen anyway. Instead I tried to fight for her. I wanted to bring her back even though she was so far gone. i thought I felt hope when there was none. It won't be the same without her.

She was all I had.

I don't want pictures to be all I have now.

You can't replace love with photos of it.

_____________________

Sam,

They stopped her heart. Mine stopped too. Unfortunately mine started again. She died a foot in front of me. I held her hand the whole time. Her lifeless, limp body lying right in front of me. The hospital is the worst place to spend your last days. She had no hope for the future. I'm mad at her for that. I'm mad at everything. I felt her hand go cold and I let go. I'm mad at myself for letting go. I should have stayed but I broke. I couldn't handle it. I ran out into the hallway.

I'm sorry. My best friend deserved better. I'm sorry.

_____________________

Nick,

I got a new camera for her 16th birthday. It was in two months. I worked at the bar for long hours to get the cash. I always came home drunk. She hated me for it. It was the only job I could get. I worked at the bar for five months so I could buy her a stupid camera she had been begging for. I could see the way she stared at that thing. Examining every square inch. She had a small stash of money she was saving from her very few babysitting gigs. I got her the camera and wasted five months of time with her. Just before the doctors came in I opened the present. Letting the silver wrapper fall to the floor. I spent an hour trying to get the paper to fit just right over that box. I took the camera and got a picture of her. She was beautiful, even half dead. She was stunning the way her hair flowed over her shoulders. Every freckle perfectly placed on her cheeks. I took two pictures that day. One of her and one of my dad. The day my sister died was the first time I ever saw my father cry.