The Midnight Sun - Finnick Odair

ii.

Paylor's home had become a sort of refuge for me, an escape from reality only if for a while.

"Turn the TV on. I think the announcement's about to start." She spoke from the kitchen, eventually coming round the corner with two mugs of herbal tea, giving me a mug which I gladly took, and sat next to me on the couch as the TV blared with the anthem of the Capitol.

Snow appeared, his venomous eyes staring into the camera as he spoke of the Dark Days, the laws of the Games, and dictated that every twenty five years, the anniversary will be marked by a Quarter Quell.

"On the twenty fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." Hi eyes scanned the crowd then, cold, calculated, wicked.

"On the fiftieth anniversary, as s reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes. And now we honour our third Quarter Quell. On the seventy fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

My blood ran cold, the half-drunk mug of tea I held in my hands shattered to the ground, and I lost my breath. Memories of my time in the arena only 3 years ago rushed through my head, swirling around into one big bloodbath in my mind. It was as if I was dying, and my entire life was flashing before my eyes, only it wasn't my entire life. It wasn't me and my father watching the sunset on top of the factory roof, it wasn't playing hide and seek in the outskirts of District 8 with my big brother Blaise, it wasn't that time that Marlo kissed me on the cheek and gave me a daisy when we were only 10, and it wasn't stroking the twins' soft cheeks while I held them for the first time. It was only the arena. Flashes upon flashes of images of death and destruction. Renly's bloodshot eyes as his life slipped away in front of me. Marlo's blood gushing out of his carotid arteries after I pierced them with my blades. Kruze on top of me, strangling me with his bare hands as I stabbed him in the neck, his hot blood covering my face until I was choking on it, stinging my eyes and the strong smell of metal making me gag. Lavender's heart pierced by my knife as I threw it at her, striking her dead in a second as she clutched at her chest.

"Alaska, please say something!" Paylor's voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I realised I had zoned out completely, in a trance. Her right hand was clutching my left arm tightly, and it was evident now that she had been shaking me back into reality for some time – the TV was switched off.

"No. No no no." I whispered repeatedly, almost inaudibly. I sprung up from the couch, glancing quickly at the spilled tea at my feet. "I'm sorry," I whispered fleetingly, "I have to go."

"Alaska!" She shouted after me as I headed out the door.

"I have to go now." I repeated, already running down the street back home. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, vision blurred as the tears brimmed over the edge, tripping occasionally on a rogue rock on the ground. It took me half the time to get home, and I fell through the door, which I had left unlocked. The twins were cuddled on the couch in the front room, and appeared to be napping.

"Mom?" I sobbed. I knew she'd seen the announcement, it was mandatory, yet no sound greeted me. I stormed upstairs, bursting through the door to see my mother, staring out of the window as always, yet this time, her eyes were glassy and tear streaks marked her cheeks. In that moment, all I saw was red – the world was already unfair without the burden of a mother who had no love to give to her family anymore.

"I have had enough of your crap." I raised my voice, shouting now, throwing my gloves onto the floor as I did. Her face scrunched as more tears came flowing out of her eyes.

I stared at her, my own tears spilling over the edge as I waited for her to make eye contact with me for the first time in 3 years. "Look at me!" I cry, my nose running from the tears.

"I can't, Alaska!" She burst out, weeping, though contradicting herself as she looked straight at me, so suddenly that I was taken aback.

My breathing was wavering, as though my lungs were convulsing, and I knelt down in front of her.

"Mom there is a very strong chance that I will have to go back there. There's only one other female victor in 8." My voice cracked, my tough persona breaking. She stares at me now, crying, as if looking away once will mean that she'll never be able to look at me ever again.

"I need you to be there for them." I continue in the strongest, most authoritative tone I could muster. "Ailey and Blue." I clarified. "They are too young and too innocent to be corrupted by them, and they need a mother. I need you to be there for them and I need you to promise me that you will." I look at her, wanting her to acknowledge, to understand. "Promise me." I pushed again. Had I broken through her wall that she'd built over these years? Had I made her see sense?

She sniffled and wiped her nose, breathing heavily. "I promise."

I released the breath I was holding, a fraction of the weight on my shoulders lifted. I look her in the eyes for a moment, pulling her into a tight embrace for the first time in a long time, and she doesn't fight it. I feel her arms pull me closer as she snivelled into my hair. Maybe she could pull through, for the girls.

I hoped and I prayed, but I knew that wasn't enough, not with someone as unpredictable as my mother, so I promised myself I would do everything I could to try and get back, if I was reaped.