The Midnight Sun - Finnick Odair

x.

There was no wind this time around as I sat leaning against the same pillar I had only a couple of nights ago with Katniss, but it wasn't windy. No, this time, the air felt humid and sticky, or maybe it was just nerves anticipating tomorrow.

There was no way I was going to get a good night's sleep, so I came up here to clear my head, to reflect on things, to reminisce.

Despite the many protests from the Capitol citizens, it was confirmed that the Games were indeed still on, and our efforts to stop them had been unsuccessful.

"No wonder they call you Midnight, you don't ever sleep."

I didn't need to look back to know who's voice was softly projecting behind me, so I didn't.

"The night is my friend," I replied, with a soft smile, and I could feel him sit down next to me, so I finally looked over to him. His usually perfectly styled hair was a little displaced in places, and his eyes looked heavy, so I suspected, like me, sleepless nights brought him here.

"You a poet now?" he said teasingly, to which I chuckled lightly. Silence once again overcame us, and I didn't know what to say, so I took a careful glance at Finnick, but he was already looking at me. I wondered what he was thinking, how he really felt about going into the games, without the arrogance and flirty persona. I wanted to know how the darling of the Capitol really felt.

His eyes scanned my face, and stilled at my lips. Leaning forward, he lifted his hand up to cup my face, and he pulled me a little towards him, as his lips followed. They connected with mine, softly, and I was stuck in time, unable to move or even fully comprehend what was happening.

He pulled away slightly, looking into my eyes as if he was staring into my soul, and his hand slipped away from my face. I backed away, not losing eye contact, as I let out my breath that I didn't even know I was holding, my hands shaking slightly.

That had thrown me completely off track, and my mind felt fuzzy. I clambered up to my feet, regaining my movement, and with one last silent horrified look, turned away to go back to my apartment, preferably as soon as was possible.

"Wait," I heard Finnick shuffle as he got to his feet and I felt a tug on my arm where he had grabbed me, stopping me in my tracks, and forcing me to turn around to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Finnick I- I can't do this." I yanked my arm free and turned back round, my heart racing and my walking unsteady.

"What you said tonight..." this time it was his dejected voice that stopped me. I swayed back round to face him.

"Finnick," I started, "we had to try and stop the games somehow." I looked down at my feet, "I had to work with what I was given."

"You mean work around my feelings?" I looked up at him, the hurt evident in his expression.

"Oh please, you don't know me, okay? And I don't owe you anything. We're here for one thing. Survival. The sooner you get that the better." I pushed past him, making my final attempt at getting to the elevator.

"God...what have they done to you?" He spoke, with the most distraught, astounded voice I had ever heard him use. "What happened to the warmhearted benevolent girl that was here 3 years ago?"

"I grew up and realised life sucks, Finnick." I spat, not stopping this time.

Ignoring the uncomfortable sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I carried on walking, and pressing the button several times until the doors opened, and I got in. I couldn't look at Finnick, even from inside the elevator, so I pressed my floor button and looked down at the floor, until the doors closed and it whooshed down rapidly, all the floors a blur through the glass as I descended to the 8th floor.

This was the last thing I needed before the Games tomorrow, and all I wanted to do was cry. Finnick looked distraught, heart broken even, and I hated that I was the one to make him that way. He wasn't a bad person. Yes, he was arrogant, and cocky, but how could he not be? Having everything you ever wanted at the age of 14, being the most desirable man in the Capitol, it was inevitable from the beginning, but he wasn't a bad guy at heart. He was kind, and warm, and gentle.

A part of me even thought that if I wasn't in this mess, that I could actually feel some way about him. But I couldn't. Not if it meant I had to kill him. Not after Renly.