These Poems are About As Deep as a Kiddie Pool

Since Then, We've Been History

We don't remember all of our dreams,
but sometimes the things that we do remember follow us around long after we've woken up.
Last night, I dreamt of someone that I used to know-
Someone that I used to love.
And I wish that I could forget my dream,
Because it felt like you.
It felt like the you that I knew all of those years ago.
The you that I knew before days turned into weeks,
Turned into months,
Turning into years.
It felt like forgiveness.
But I woke up.
I remembered that you still look at me as if I'm stupid.
You still think of me as a nuisance.
You don't ever think of the girl you used to love.
But I'm plagued with "what-ifs" and dreams of a time when we might make up,
When we might get past ourselves and realize that we used to be friends.
You will never look at me and smile and take my hand again.
You won't invite me back into your life.
I will never get to apologize for everything I might have done. I won't ever get to tell you how losing one of the most important people in my life has left me torn apart.
I keep saying that I hate you, and that you're a terrible person, and that I don't understand how anyone likes you.
And maybe it's because I don't want to miss you.
I see something bad in every single thing you do so that I won't have to deal with the fact that you used to make me so happy.
I've been lying to myself for months, almost a year now.
I finally thought it was working.
But last night I dreamed about someone I used to love,
And I remembered what being happy with you felt like.
And now there's nothing I can do to get away from it.