BURNED

5|Mama Dearest

I awaken to the sound of birds chirping. Oddly I am feeling well rested. I turn over to look at the clock, and the blaring red numbers read 6:51 AM. I snuggle back under the covers, and the after effects of a dream I couldn't fully remember lingered at the back of my mind. Stolen kisses, soft touches, wrapped in the arms of----Orion! My eyes snap open, and I rise swiftly in bed.

His ripped body. Muscular arms. Slight accent. His piercing mint green eyes, and luscious pink lips. His dark hair sometimes spilled over his eyes, shrouding him in mystery. His lashes put mine to shame.

"He even chooses to invade my dreams uninvited." I groan.

Hopping out of bed I think about what happened over the weekend. Him being so kind to Hailey. I saw the way he looked at her. For a few seconds the steel wall he kept up was vulnerable. He looked at her with love, adoration, and care. Almost as if in another life she was his.

That scared me, but somehow it also stirred some deep unknown feeling inside of me. I began to make breakfast, after what seemed like ages. The last time we had breakfast was so long ago I couldn't even remember. And all I could afford was one sausage and biscuit for Hailey, and a biscuit with honey for myself. I grabbed the butter, eggs, bacon, and pancake mix. It had been so long since my refrigerator was this full.

It wasn't full exactly, but the more you struggle, and the longer it is you begin to appreciate even the smallest things. I turn on the TV to the morning news, and I loved this station because they periodically played a song right before and between the morning news. Today it was Three Little Birds by Bob Marley.

"Don't worry, about a thing," I sang as I scrambled the eggs and poured the pancake mix.

"Because every little thing is gonna' be alright!"

Soon I found myself dancing around the kitchen.

"Mommy what are you doing?" Hailey asks rubbing her tired eyes.

I pause mid singing into my spoon, and my butt shimmying into the air.

"Oh well um, I was just making breakfast." I say dumping the eggs on a plate beside the bacon.

Hailey raises her brow at me, and we soon find ourselves laughing. I spin her around the room, and we land on the sofa at the end of the song. At that exact moment the smoke alarm goes off, and smoke pours from the skillet containing our pancakes.

I look down at Hailey.

"So I assume we are leaving pancakes off of the menu this morning?" She giggles and I roll my eyes.

We eat breakfast, laughing, giggling, and joking all the way. Soon we are stuffed. I kiss Hailey on the forehead, and I begin to collect our dishes glaring at the burnt pot of pancakes. I fill the sink with soapy water, and I smile. Not just any old dollar, runny, useless soap. But my favorite lavender.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?" I asked distractedly, as I battle the burnt pot with a kitchen scrubber.

"When are we going to see Orion again?" she asks, avoiding my gaze.

At that moment I realize the gravity of what I had done. At the dinner, when we went to Backyard BBQ. I had told him I quit. Out of fear, from the uncomfortable stirrings of some long dormant feeling deep inside. I just had no idea what it was yet. I pretended to continue scrubbing the pot, and then cleared my throat.