You Have a Twin?!

Confusing Feelings

Jackson's POV
"Ugh! The nerve of Cortez! Who does he think he is?! He's nothing but a weak little dweeb!" Adam snaps trying to jump up from his seat on my couch. He winces. "Put the ice back, dumbass. You should've known that Cortez was gonna pull some shit like this. He's always played dirty." I sigh from my bed. I don't bother looking up from my computer. "What are you even doing Jackson?" "Looking something up." I reply shortly. "Care to tell me what something is?" I shake my head no. Adam huffs again as he puts the ice pack back on his crotch. After about 3 minutes I huff in exasperation, how many Ryan Cortez's are there in the world?! I'm so sick of going through a bunch of random peoples' Facebooks trying to find this boy who's giving me feelings I don't like. "I could help you know! I have a nerd who can find anything on call at all times!" Adam snaps. He does have a point, but I don't need anyone else to know about this. They would question me or think I'm a faggot, which I'm not! "No. It's a research project I have to do on my own." Adam growls but says nothing else. I finally look at him, but he doesn't see me. His bright green eyes are closed. Adam looks just like his dad except for his eyes, he gets those from his mom. Wait, mom. Ryan and Fang's mom! I think her maiden name was Gonzani or something. I quickly type in Ryan Gonzani and sure enough, there he his. The top of a list of Gonzani's that must be his family cause all the people in the profile pictures are similar looking. I click on Ryan's name and I start to snoop through his profile. I find out things I wasn't looking for, like how his favorite color is blue and his favorite season is Spring. How his favorite food in enchiladas and his favorite movie and book series are the same, Harry Potter. How he is straight, yet he has many things posted that don't seem like something a straight guy would post. This boy is confusing, that's for sure, but at least I know some more stuff about him. I go through his pictures and see multiple selfies with his family. The person he takes the most pictures with is Fang. Looking at Cortez's face, looking happy as can be, makes guilt start to bubble in my stomach. I never meant to end up being  a bully to him. I wanted to be his friend when we first met, but my parents didn't approve. They chose my friends, they chose how I acted, they chose who I dated, they control my life. I shake my head, it's too late for reconciliation now. The pictures of Ryan and Fang show them aging, but they just stop at two years ago. It's like they didn't see each other. You can see how it affected Ryan, in his pictures from these past two years he is wearing a fake smile. It hurts me seeing him like that. I jump when Adam's phone rings. Adam gives me a look as he answers it. "Yes sir." Pause. "Yes sir, I'm coming home right now." Pause and hang up. "Sorry man, gotta run." Adam says standing, with slight difficulty. "Later loser." I say, not bothering to even look at him as he leaves my large room. I wait a few seconds before I get off my king size bed to shut and lock my door. I turn back and grab one of my pillows and scream into it. Why is Ryan making me feel so confused?! I'm straight as a stripper pole! I'm not gay or bi, but why do I start to blush every time I think about his cute face and sexy voice and hot body and ugh!!!!! I stop screaming and walk into my bathroom. I look at my reflection and see my face, neck, and ears are bright red. "Ugh! Damnit!" I shout. I grab my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. I want Ryan's hands tangled in my hair as I kiss his, NOPE! Not now! I let go of my hair so I can put my shower on full blast. I don't even strip as I step into the water hot enough to cook with. I let the water run over me, streaming down my face. My tears are hidden with this effect. I don't know why I'm crying. Out of frustration? Feeling guilty for everything I've done to people who my parents don't approve of? Knowing the fact that I will never be able to get close to Ryan? I don't know why, so I just sob with my shower on full blast and my bedroom door locked so that my parents can't hear me and scold me for being weak. Scold me for liking a boy in a romantic way. Scold me for being me and not their perfect view of a son. I barely hear my phone bing with a notification. I take shaky breaths and turn off the water, stepping out in my soaking wet clothes. I dry my hand and grab my phone. It's a friend request from someone on Facebook. I growl, they probably just want to say that I actually see them. I open my phone and pull up the social media app. I nearly drop my phone when I see who sent the request, Ryan Gonzani. My thumb hovers over the accept icon. Should I? My parents might question me when they see he looks just like Fang. They hate Fang and his family. They hate Mom's sister and her two daughters, Max and Ella, because they are so close with the Cortez family. Max and I don't get along that well, but she did ask me to go to her and Fang's wedding next summer. I was so excited because I do love the Martinez family, which is why my cousin asked me. I told my parents that day at dinner and they both nearly choked to death hearing the news. They forbid me from going. I cried that night and they scolded me for it. I bite my lip and instead of accepting or ignoring the request, I sent Ryan a message.