Letters to You

⟨2⟩

May 11th, 2017

God, where do I begin. I really don't know where to go with this because I don't even know where to start. I suppose I'll start from the beginning of everything, that's a good place to start. Almost exactly a year ago, I was in a relationship I was scared and unhappy to be in in fear of being hurt physically and mentally. In the game we played, I had only talked to him and one other person. I talked to you every now and then, when I had been scared of everything around me. I was scared to get close to you, to even get near you. I know we were both doing our own things back then, but I always wanted to be friends with you. I didn't know I would end up falling in love with you, though. You've said that even a year ago, you knew something was up with me back then, something was wrong and I seemed trapped, you described to me. About a month after me and him broke up, I stopped playing the game for months because I had no reason to anymore. That game held me and him together, and we shared memories. I couldn't face them at the moment, as I was too scared to go back. Changes were made to the game before I quit for a few months, and I didn't know where you had went. When I started playing again around February 2017, a few days after my birthday, you had asked for my characters name because it had resembled your old character. Little did I know, you were the same person. We had started talking again, and you had said you remembered me from a year ago. If I'm gonna be honest, I was concerned as to where you had went when the changes were made. When I found out that you had just been on a new character, I wasn't so scared to talk to you. I found you extremely easy to talk to and get along with when it came to talking. I had no problems telling you my feelings or what was going on in my life, and I don't know why. I've never been so comfortable with anyone ever so quickly. I told you things I've never told anyone, and you listened. Though I thought I was s burden most of the times, you insisted I wasn't at all and you loved talking to me. At the time I was in a relationship, it wasn't that bad but I still wasn't happy on where I was. I was close to failing third term of school college and feared the failure and the feelings of my parents when they had found out. The thoughts I had, they were almost surreal. I had to let it all sink in. For as long as I remember I could only recall the murmurs of my peers and the disappointed looks and sighs of my parents and from those who I thought I was close to. I was stuck in the relentless struggle to please everyone that I put myself at risk. Then you came along, and you opened my eyes for me to realize I didn't have to be anyone but myself.  You accept me through all my faults and imperfections, my mistakes and my problems. You didn't expect anything of me but to be myself, and I loved that. I felt at home, accepted, and loved. I felt wanted. I don't know how you did it. You managed to climb inside of my head and break down the walls I put up. I feel like my old self again, or I'm starting to. I don't know where I'd be without you, honestly. I'm not afraid to tell you anything, and I'm so excited to see what is going to happen in the future. You've saved me from myself, and things are getting better in life for me. You make me so happy, and give me motivation to move on from the past and look towards the future. I'm driven to better myself and do anything to help. I'll always be there to help you after all the ways you've helped me. "I don't do much" you say, but I don't think you realized how much you've done for me overall. I would have failed my third term, and would have been punished for the rest of the year because of it. You motivated me, you pushed me in the right direction and I don't want to look back. There's going to be a time, soon, where I'm happy. I'm so excited for that day. I want you to be by my side for all of it. You're so special to me, and I don't know how to put it in exact words so you can realize it. I love talking to you, you've brought so many good things my way and have made my life so much better than it was a few months ago. You notice the changes in me, you've noticed how I've been happier and talking to more people instead of blocking everything out. I'm doing better. A lot better thanks to you. I love you so much and I can't wait for the day I'm happy with you by my side.

I love you so much, thank you.