Letters to You

⟨3⟩

May 12th, 2017

I really need a break from school. It's tiring. People annoy me. I'm surrounded by immature people constantly, the yelling and bitching gets to me. Eventually, I give in and become one of them for the six hours I have to if I decide to. I'm far from perfect. I shit talk as much as everyone else does. My town isn't the happiest place, far from it. Every evening I drive by the drug store right in front of my school, only to see all of the kids from ages 12 to 18 smoking cigarettes. It makes me sad, really. They will probably end up being on one of those commercials with smokers to prevent smoking. I've never touched a cigarette in my life, but I've taken in nicotine twice from vapes. Both time I was pressured into it. I regret it dearly. The burning in the back of my throats didn't go away for a few hours, and it hurt. Consuming pain relievers for such a silly mistake sucked. My throat hurt from coughing, and I was sick the day after. I'd never get addicted. I could never get used to that. My uncle had died from lung cancer, and I had to get rid of my mothers cigarettes for an e-cig. Of course it's not much of a difference but she's working her way towards stopping. I could never touch a drug. Ever. And the kids around me at school, that's all they talk about. That and fights. I've been in a few fights in my life, but never one from school or anything of the sort.
I do get along with my teachers though. They make me happy. My french teacher being my favorite. Yesterday, I had slept the whole class and had been quiet, he had the eyes to notice something was wrong and had asked me if I was okay. He had asked me if I had anything to eat or if anything was happening at home. I have to admit, it was a small lie, there is things going on at home, but I was just tired at the moment. I also get along with my History teacher, as we just click in our class.  Im the top student, the student that had gotten A's in his class when I'm surrounded by people that don't even remotely try to get a good grade. There's a total of 12 kids in my class, and I do most of the work. I answer all of the questions. I suppose I get along with my cooking and sewing teacher, but I feel as if I am judged by her whenever I had messed up on my sewing. She confuses me.
The girls at my school annoy the hell out of me. The girls in gym that wear tight pants and shirts, and bend over towards the boys whenever they drop something or need to pick up a ball. The girls that are all over the boys in my gym, it just annoys me. I'm here every day, playing video games and barley ever going outside as I wear leggings, boots, and hoodies every day- and I'm doing just fine. Guys like me for that I guess, considering there are a million other girls my boyfriend could have gone to but he had chose me. Of course it's different when it's online, but even there are girls like that in video games too. Girls that run around without their armor on so they have nothing but underwear, or girls that wear revealing costumes as I am there with a scarf and a police outfit because I thought it looked cool. Girls that make their characters look all cute while I tried to make mine look badass and bitchy. I don't get how I did it really. But the boys in my school. About more than half are fuckboys that try to get with me. I purposely give them attitude back and they take it in the wrong way, so I plainly say I dislike them and don't want anything to do with them when it comes to personal interests. I'm fine with being friends, but never in my right mind would I date a fuckboy again. People give me headaches, honestly. I'm sitting in history and everyone is talking, as I sit alone writing about my feelings in the corner in the back with a headache. It sucks, at least it's Friday I have cooking next though, and we get to make cookies. :)