Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Listen: Indak by Up Dharma Down
Patakbo akong lumabas mula sa bar na iyon. I don't know why my eyes hurt, like the feel of holding back tears. Maybe it's because of running. I should be going home and not risk the chance of him seeing me. It's enough that I saw him, but it's too much if he sees me now.
I fear that when I look into his eyes, I'll see indiference. The thought that I'm just someone insignificant makes me want to throw up.
I should be going home but I found myself going to the bar beside the one I came from.
I went directly to the bar counter and ordered a drink that will make me numb.
This is all just my pride talking because I'm sure that I have moved on from everything.
Maybe this is still part of my moving on. I was once told that moving on isn't complete until you have faced your past head on, smiling.
Now all I have to do is face them, but not now.
I've lost count of how many cocktails I've drank. Medyo nahihilo na rin ako pero alam ko pa naman ang ginagawa ko. Tulad nga ng sabi ko, sanay na ako sa mga ganitong gawain. We drink when we're happy, we drink when we're lonely and we drink just because. But that doesn't make me an alcoholic, they were times when I only drink five shots or less.
As I sit here drinking I can't help but think. Marami na ring nagpapapansin sa aking mga lalaki pero hindi ko sila pinapansin. Mabuti nalang rin at tinutulungan ako ng bartender, siya na mismo ang nagtataboy sa mga lalaking nagtatangkang makipagusap sa akin.
*
"Kuya, ang tagal mo. Where were you?" Angal ko kay Rey ng lagpas dalawampung minuto na akong naghihintay sa kanya.
"May trabaho ako remember?" Pagsusungit niya habang kinukuha ang maleta ko at naglakad na papuntang sasakyan niya.
"Correction Kuya, you're helping tito Jek!" Habol ko sa kanya at pumasok na sa passenger seat.
Inantay ko siyang matapos ilagay ang maleta ko sa likod bago ko siya inasar ulit.
"That's not working." Sabay irap ko sa kanya.
"I'm still inside the office and doing office works."
"Whatever. That's still not real work. Why don't you apply again?"
"Tell that to Mom. Ayaw pa niya akong pakawalan kaya naman kinuntsaba niya si Tito."
Ang alam ko kasi matagal ng nakapag apply si Rey at halos lahat ng inaaplyan niya ay natanggap naman siya. Yun nga lang ang pinakagusto niyang tanggapin ay yung nakabase sa Korea.
