Going Nowhere - Xavier's Story

Chapter Four - Not Alone

No girl had ever affected me the way Scarlett had, and still did. Even in high school I had wanted her. At the time I had hated myself for wanting the preppy goody two shoes, but I had and I had it for her bad. Nothing had changed.

Of course being the idiotic pubescent boy I was, I'd dealt with it the worst way possible and made her life a misery. I had never wanted her to hate me, I had wanted her to notice me and notice me she did but it was never in a good way. Before I knew it, I'd fucked up any chance of being with her.

After the sex tape that Ryan and his idiotic troupe of morons cut and released I had wanted to tell her she could rely on me, I knew it wasn't her in the video, and I wanted her to know I had her back. The best I had ever been able to do was give her a note. One that said You're not alone, you're worth more than this place... I know it wasn't you. After everything I'd done it wasn't nearly enough to help, and we never ever talked about it.

Everyone at school, including me had seen the video, but they hadn't really looked too far beyond the content. The girl with that fuck face Ryan didn't have a mole on her left hip like Scarlett did, she had smaller boobs than Scarlett, and her fake tanned skin was at least five shades darker than Scarlett's alabaster skin.

I'd grown up with Scarlett after all, I'd watch her grow and my raging hormones made sure I'd taken every detail into account. I'd thought about her so much I knew her like the back of my hand.... literally.

She had been right about how I'd treated her, I'd been a giant ass. I'd humiliated her and she still hated me for it now, five years after high school had finished. Not that I blamed her. I hated myself.

But none of that seemed to matter right now, not now that she stood in front of me, almost naked, except for a tiny scrap of material I could rip off within seconds I wanted to. Goddammit I wanted to tear it off with my teeth. 

She was beautiful, and it took every part of my fractured moral fiber to stop myself for cupping her soft ass in my hands and pulling her against me. Vax the scoundrel wouldn't have thought twice. But I wasn't him anymore, or at least that was what I was telling myself. After all I'd already hardened at the mere sight of her standing there. It had been an almost instant reaction when I'd walked out of the bathroom, but I had to fight it. She was drunk, and shaken. 

That asshole Ryan had been a jerk in the club. Although she had held her own, he'd taken her back to that place of her past she hated. I knew what that like. She didn't want me, she wanted to forget her pain.

"Do you want me?" She murmured. Her head dipped and she looked up at me with lustful eyes.

My body twitched and my hard on throbbed mercilessly against my jeans. Fuck, I more than wanted her. I wanted to make love to her, and then make her fall in love with me too. I wanted her to fall hard, like I had. But I couldn't, not like this. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

I bit my lip as I walked toward her. Her eyes were closed.

I stole a generous look at her curves, committing them to memory, just in case I never saw her like this again. Realizing what I was doing, I shook my head, not like this, this was wrong.

I unzipped my jacket, touching her hand she sighed and I almost lost my willpower then and there. My breathing hitched and I forced myself to cover her beautiful skin with my jacket. I let out the breath I'd been holding as I zipped it up. Her eyes flung open, and she looked hurt causing a surge of guilt that stung my insides.

"I'm only telling you this because tomorrow you won't remember it." I whispered, leading her to her bed. "I want you Scarlett, but I won't take advantage of you."