I Hate You, But I Love You

Chapter 2: Everybody Gets High

    Bruce left in a hurry, embarrassed by how the whole thing had unfolded. He'd not really thought about how the entire thing might have just been how he was thinking about J rather than a poison. It seemed to him that any other feeling rather than hate towards the Joker was just inconceivable. Now he wasn't so sure. J on the other hand was laid back against his pillow, still clutching his gun in his hand. Harley frowned more. "Tell me puddin! What's Batsy doing smooching you on the lips? That's my job." J shook his head. "It's not like that, Harls. I fell into the water at the pier and I was cuffed so I panicked. I was drowning and he had to give me CPR. Obviously, he should have just left me to my own devices if he's just going to bust up in here and accuse me of things that I didn't do. He's lost his mind." Harley giggled a little. "So what was it like? Kissing Batsy?" J gave her a very glaring glance. "I was unconscious. I wouldn't know." She pouted playfully. "Good, cause ya all mine." J stood up, still naked, but mainly just standing there and thinking about the real reason Batsy came over. Batman couldn't stop thinking about the Joker. J stretched a little and crossed his arms, walking over to his personal bar, pouring himself a whiskey. "Harls? I'm going to take today off. You're free to do what you like, but I need to be alone." He explained, glancing back to Harley. She thought it was odd, but she nodded anyway. She thought about going to visit Deadshot. That is.. if he was easy to find. J got dressed in his usual attire, a mahogany button up shirt and dress pants. His definition of casual was sweatpants, but he liked to be somewhat dressier when it came to meeting with people. He slicked back his hair and washed his face off, reapplying his lipstick and eyeliner. When he'd deemed himself worthy of leaving the club, he kissed Harley goodbye and went on his way to find Batman. The only way to find him was to cause trouble, and Joker knew just exactly how to grind his gears. The gas pedal was pressed to the floor on his purple Lamborghini as he sped off to one of the biggest banks in Gotham. He would just cause a big enough scene for Batman to get involved. Being the theatrical man that he was, J walked into the bank after pulling a black hoodie on, the hood pulled up. Once he'd approached the teller, she frowned. "Sir, you can't wear your hood up in here." He then flashed her a grin, looking up now into her eyes as he pulled the hood down. "I'd like to make a withdrawal. All of the money in the bank.. stat!" He called out, knowing he was being reckless to come in there without a plan. He watched the security guards, his loaded pistol aimed at one of the beautiful bank tellers. What was another felony tacked on to the growing list he had? He heard someone whisper something about Batman and he grinned. "Yes, call the bat-brain! I've got a bone to pick with him." He then laughed maniacally, giving everyone a good dose of fear as he waited for the bat to make his grandiose entrance. In the meantime, he grabbed the girl, keeping the gun on her as he made his way to the roof. "Don't scream or I'll shoot, got it? You look like a nice normal housewife. I wouldn't want to disappoint your kids by sending you back home in a box." She nodded, tears streaming down her face. Of course, within moments Batsy was standing on the rooftop, having gotten there completely silent. "Let her go!" He spoke in his deep voice, watching the Joker. J then let go, pushing her to the ground. "Just the man I wanted to see. I didn't come here because I wanted to rob a bank. I wanted to come here to find you. You came into my club this morning to accuse me of poisoning you. Are you sure that isn't just you, bat-brain?" It was a bold statement. "I mean, if I was using even a fraction of the brain power I have, I could have easily come to the conclusion that you need me. The reason why you can't stop thinking about me? You want me." He added and Batman stepped back. "You're insane. I don't want you. You've probably got numerous STDs, and don't forget that your personality is far from a winning one." J felt wounded at that accusation. "Maybe I was wrong then, but not completely. You're the psychopath. If you can't stop thinking about me, you're obsessed, which is an actual thing. Look it up." He was angry now. He didn't just come up to this rooftop to be insulted by the Bat himself. He then pointed the gun at his head as an experiment. "Maybe all of this is pointless..." he trailed off, looking at Batsy. He could sense a shift in his mood, and could practically feel the tense energy coming off of him. "Put the gun down. NOW!" Batman was practically panicking. "Okay, so you won't kill me, but I'm fine with killing myself. Why are you stopping me? Be truthful and I'll put the gun down." He promised, cocking back the hammer. Batsy then used a batarang to knock the gun out of his hand while J was thinking. Joker wasn't going to get his answer today. So be it. And with that, the Bat flew off into broad daylight, which was pretty impressive.

While J had been soaking in the information, he forgot that he had no hostage as a bargaining chip. The police broke through the rooftop door, their guns pointed at him. He was only human, what more could he do than let them take him? He didn't want to die. It was a long ride to the police station, and then an even longer wait to be booked in. The other detainees were all terrified of him, and he drank it in as he sat there, hands cuffed together in front now as he sat behind the bars. Because his reputation proceeded him so, he had a one way ticket to Arkham waiting for him in means of a padded bus. The police had to all but force him into it, not giving him any phone calls. They knew better now not to give any calls at all to the Joker. He stayed silent, figuring that arguing would be pointless. Once finally brought into the prison, they stripped him down and gave him a thorough prison exam. After that, he was given clothes and led to his cell. Once he finally got there, he saw his cellmate, Two-Face. "Hey there Harv!" He grinned slightly and Harvey simply shot a glance at him. "What're you in for?" He asked and J shrugged. "A mix-up. I won't be here long." Harv then bit his normal lip. "Hey, can you do something for me before you leave? Remember that conversation we had a while back about the thing I shall never repeat? Well.. since I don't have any friends on the outside, could you.." J stopped him right there. "Last time was gratis. This time it'll cost you." Harvey frowned a little. "What do you want?" J then rolled out his bed sheet to make the top bunk. "Info on Batsy. Ya got any?" Harvey then laid back in his bed and mulled it all over. "In terms of?" He asked, then J bit his lip slightly. "Look, Harv. I've already let you in on something, so I'm going to be a complete idiot and trust that you won't tell anyone this either, okay?" Harvey then nodded and waited for the info. "Have you seen Batsy with any females?" Dent's mouth curved into an 'o', for he'd realized what the purpose of this was. "Well, there's Vicki Vale, Barbara Gordon, and then Catwoman, but I don't think that shit will last long. He's a hard one to read. Want me to flip a coin on it?" J then rolled his eyes. "I know what your answer will be." With that, Harvey grinned and relaxed back on the bed. A few nights went by, but Joker no longer opened up that much to Harvey. Except for their deal, of course. J was waiting now for his release after they found out that he hadn't actually robbed the place, although the hostage situation made the whole thing a bit iffy. Regardless, Harley would have known something was up and come to bail him out sooner or later. And right he was. Harley blew up one whole side of the wall where their cell was. J eagerly hopped up and ran to her arms. "Harls! I knew ya'd save me." Harvey was a bit confused, but he took that time to escape as well, leaving them both behind. Once back at the club, Harley confronted him. "Mistah J, what are ya doing? I went to visit Deadshot and then ya never came back! Then I hear that ya got arrested and are sittin' in that awful jail.." J shrugged a little. "I got caught. It's nothin'. But thanks anyway for busting me out." She frowned more now and looked at him square in the face. "What's going on with ya, puddin? You seem different." He then shook her words off. "It's nothin'! Leave it!" His temper caught the best of him and he pushed her away, heading to the back room where he kept a stash of cocaine and Vicodin. He knew what he was doing was extremely stupid, but at the same time, he didn't want to deal with it at all. "I don't have fucking STD's." He muttered to himself. This time he took the bottle of Vicodin out and popped a couple of pills. They would numb the pain. He had a bottle of Jack nearby, which is what he used to drink straight after. He was dealing with the whole Batsy situation, which he'd mishandled as an obsession on his part, when really he felt like it was something more. He didn't want it to be. How badly he wanted to hate him and to kill him, but he could never kill that damn bat.

Meanwhile for the past few days, Bruce was back at home, dealing with what had just happened in his mind. Joker had threatened to kill himself and declared that Bruce was obsessed with him. It was nothing that Bruce hadn't already figured out on his own by this point, but hearing it out loud really drove the point home. He paced the floors of his mansion and ran his fingers through his dark hair. He then heard a knock on the door. Walking to the front door, he opened it and to his surprise it was Harvey Dent. He didn't wait for an invitation, walking right into Bruce's mansion. "Bruce! How are you?" Bruce frowned and stepped back. "Shouldn't you be in Arkham?" Harvey chuckled. "Of course not. They let me out on good behavior." Bruce shook his head. "Good behavior? I don't think so." The ex-politician walked in and took a seat at the couch. "I've got some information for you, Mr. Wayne. It's pretty juicy gossip really. It's about the Joker. You seem to have taken an interest in his case, so I brought you something straight from his mouth." Bruce crossed his arms. "Then spit it out." Harvey smirked like a cat that had eaten the canary. "So I was in the jail the other night when Joker got booked in again. He didn't hold up on his deal with me." Bruce grew more tense. "Tell me." Harvey leaned back, savoring the moment. "Joker swings the other way. And he's swinging for Batman."