I Hate You, But I Love You

Chapter 7: Middle Fingers

Before Bruce could say anything, J had dropped his clothes and jumped in fully nude. With some convincing, he got Bruce to do the same. Bruce couldn't really remember a time like this where he could really cut loose. J really opened him up for fun in his life. After a while they got out of the pool and dried off, neither of them keeping their eyes to themselves. J headed up to change his clothes and he looked in the bathroom mirror, remembering that it had been a month since he'd been home to Harley. She'd be pissed that he was seeing someone else. He just wouldn't tell her that he was and everything would be fine. He needed to see her regardless, so he told Alfred that he would be right back and headed out on one of Bruce's motorcycles. He wore a hoodie to cover his hair and tried to stay off of the main roads. Once he got back to his own mansion, he could also grab some of his things. He pulled up and walked inside, finding it unlocked. Once he made it back to the bedroom, he started to pack some things up in a duffle bag. Harley heard him come in and wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to him or not. He'd been out of Arkham and hadn't called her, which she was kind of angry about. She finally walked into the room, arms crossed in front of her chest. "Mistah J, what are ya doin'?" She was startled to see him packing his things up. "I'm just stayin' with someone for a while. Don't worry. I wanted to come and see ya." He explained and she frowned. "Stayin with somebody?" She immediately thought he was maybe staying with another blond somewhere. Harley bit her lip slightly. J then turned to her. He didn't want to hurt her, but figured it was better to rip off the bandaid as quickly as possible. "Look, Harls.. I've been stayin' with someone that I really care about. And I didn't wanna hurt ya so I didn't tell ya." He explained calmly and packed the rest of his things. She was offended immediately. "Ya certainly haven't had a problem with it in the past!" Her heart was already breaking as he said that. "It's just not workin' out between the two of us." He said it so simply, but it wasn't simple in the slightest. "I gave up my whole life for ya, mistah J! Who am I if not the infamous Harley Quinn?" She asked, on the verge of tears. J shook his head. "I dunno. Figure it out." He was trying to be cold so he didn't have to deal with it. She teared up more and looked at him, almost a pleading look on her face. "Puddin...?" She managed to get out sadly. He looked up at her and then down to the floor. "Go find yourself someone else." He spoke before backhanding her. In reality, the backhand was to make her hate him. At least if she hated him, she wouldn't be so sad about losing him. She stumbled back a bit and held out a hand to him. "Please! Ya can't leave!" She begged and he walked down the hall, Harley right behind him. Once he climbed back on the bike, he hurried away as fast as he could. He didn't want her to see him getting emotional. Harley stood there on the front doorstep. Watching him fade from view, she pulled out a positive pregnancy test from her coat. When J had come home and gotten drunk that night he'd almost drowned, they hadn't been as careful as they should have been. She thought he was coming home from Arkham to finally be good. It was too much to hope for, she supposed.

Pulling back up to the mansion, he brought his duffle bag in and hurried to his room. He didn't want to deal with Bruce, especially in the foul mood he was now in. There was a bottle of Jack Daniel's waiting for him on his nightstand. He must have mentioned liking it in passing. Pouring himself a drink, he sat on his bed, unpacking his things. He was much happier with the vibrant greens and purples of his own closet. More color. Anything but Bruce's black closet. He rubbed his eyes and rummaged through his bag to find his cigarettes. He desperately needed one right now. Of course he had the common decency to step outside to smoke, so he made his way down the stairs in somewhat of a hurry. He was looking down and accidentally ran into Bruce. Bruce could tell he was upset, so he stopped him. "What's going on? Alfred told me you left and now you look upset." He explained and J sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it." He spoke shortly and hurried past him out to the back. He looked out over the pool, pulling out one of the cigarettes and lighting it. Bruce followed him out and stood quietly by his side. "Y'know those are bad for you, right?" He was just trying to make small talk. Relief hit J as he took a drag, held it for a moment and let the smoke trickle out. "Yeah.. yeah I do." He looked over at Bruce and then back out over the landscape. "You know that I'm not going to judge you. Unless you did something that was criminally wrong, and then in that case I will." Bruce spoke and J shook his head. "Ya really wanna know? I fucked up the only good relationship I had because I care about you. I thought maybe it would be easier if I just said it and left, but then she started the damn waterworks and everything was over!" He let it out and chewed his lip slightly, holding back from letting any emotion show. Bruce then realized he meant Harley. "You mean.. you broke up with Harley to be with me? J.. I mean, Jack, if you really loved her, then be with her. Don't let me hold you back." Jack took another drag while he was speaking to calm himself down, then sighed, letting it out. "You see, here's the thing, Bruce. I didn't really love her. Maybe in the beginning, ya know, but after I started to fight you, kissing her didn't feel the same. Hell, even sleeping with her wasn't the same. I'd get a boner fighting you and hope to god that you didn't notice.. and then with her.. you know how it goes." He had never gotten that personal with anyone before, and it felt wrong to admit that much to Bruce. He definitely didn't want to admit that he imagined Batsy whenever he needed to be aroused. Bruce didn't know what to say. "Then.. you did the right thing. I wouldn't want you to cheat on her for me." He replied softly and J nodded. "I didn't either." Bruce gently reached out for J's pale hand and took it, intertwining their fingers. Jack glanced back over to him and gave him a soft smile. "You're too sympathetic for your own good." He chuckled softly, then inched over closer to him, laying his head over on Bruce's muscular shoulder. The brunette hadn't expected the sudden closeness, but he didn't back away. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Jack to support him. "Everything will work out. Now that we've all come to terms with what we're feeling, it'll be less chaotic." Bruce assured him and J almost laughed bitterly. "If you know Harley, she never quits. I tried so hard to make her hate me and she persists." He replied softly, not moving from his position as he finished up smoking his cigarette. Once he was done, they both went back inside. J leaned against the kitchen table, grinning a little. "You know what I'd like to do here? I'll give you a hint.. it has nothing to do with eating. Well, kind of." He winked at Bruce and Bruce rolled his eyes, taking his hand once more. "Come on. Let's go upstairs." J got a little excited, wondering what he meant by that. Bruce took him up to his own bedroom and closed the door behind them. "I know this is cliché.. but would you like to watch some Netflix? We could lay in my bed and cuddle. I mean, it sounds like that's something you want to do." Jack was practically giddy, but he hid it well. He took off his hoodie, leaving on his pants until he could see what Bruce was leaving on. Bruce stripped straight to his boxers so that's what J did too. J climbed into bed and curled up under the covers, chuckling as Bruce nuzzled his way in, pulling him close. "You're a lot nicer than I expected. I thought Batsy was just a tough guy, but it turns out I had it all wrong." J admitted and Bruce shrugged. "I thought the same about you." J was literally intoxicated by the cologne that Bruce was wearing. He smiled and nuzzled closer to him, feeling Bruce's stubbly jawline meet his hair. J was nervous, but something about Bruce made that all go away.

They watched a few shows and their legs somehow ended up intertwined. Bruce felt Joker's obvious arousal and turned to him, kissing him on the lips. He ran his hand through Jack's messy hair, making a few bold moves, one of which was climbing dominantly on top of Jack. A million signals were going off in Jack's brain telling him that this was what he wanted. He'd always dreamed of this moment, but never really knew what it would be like exactly. He kissed Bruce back just as hungrily before grinding his hips up against Bruce's. One thing lead to the next and before they knew it, Alfred could have heard the noise they were making from a mile away. After they'd finished, both collapsed on the bed panting and satisfied. Jack grinned playfully over at him and planted a few rogue kisses on his face, snuggling into his embrace for the night. Bruce held him close, just now noticing how all of his tattoos wove around his body. He didn't even know that J had some of them. They were always covered by his coat or his pants. J noticed him staring and he grinned slightly. "I don't have any on my ass if that's what you're wondering." Bruce chuckled and rolled his eyes. "No. That's not what I was wondering. I was just thinking how nice a bat symbol would look right there at your hip line. Peeking out over your pants to let them know you're mine." He was teasing, and Joker knew he was. He laughed so hard he almost cried. "I'm sure that would go over well with Bane. He'd be crushed." J spoke and Bruce's eyes widened. "You were with Bane?" And then Jack shook his head because he couldn't talk from laughing so much. "I can't believe you believed that. Moron." It was a playful insult. The brunette laughed too and started to relax. "Let's call it a night.." He had murmured, but he heard no reply because Jack was already quietly sleeping in his arms. His breathing was rhythmic and he seemed so peaceful. Everything seemed so.. perfect. Maybe too perfect. Bruce didn't want to think any other way, however, because he was actually happy for a change. He couldn't believe that he loved this murderous clown, but once he really thought about it, Jack was just a person too one time. Sure, he'd done some unforgivable stuff, but at one point in time he was a normal person. Bruce believed in change, and that was quite possibly why he wanted to bring J home with him. Maybe he could change the clown's heart for the better.