I Hate You, But I Love You

Chapter 9: Sorry

For what seemed like hours, J sat in that spot in the alleyway, letting out his emotions. It was mainly anger, mainly himself. He punched the brick wall until his knuckles bled. Damn him. He finally plucked up the courage to go home to his mansion after a while of his pity party. Walking home in the dark, once he got there, he walked straight into the main area where Harley was in her pjs, watching tv. "I hope you're happy. I get to play daddy now, it seems." He spoke with such venom, letting it go as he walked past her. Harley had never seen him so upset and it hurt her. "Do ya wanna talk about it?" She asked and received a reply of "What is there to talk about?" She dropped the subject and he went to his room, immediately getting his Jack Daniels stash out. He definitely needed it. As he laid back on his bed, his phone buzzed. His heart raced, thinking it might be Bruce. It was Lex Luthor. He sighed softly as he opened the text. It read: 'Noticed you had a shit night. Want to chat?' It was an odd text, sure, but Lex came around every now and again. They'd had a fling back in the day. Lex and J had been running the streets of Gotham, wanting to take over the world. Jack wasn't getting anywhere with Batsy at the time, so he moved on to Lex. Lex made him happy for a while, but in the end, it didn't work out. J didn't feel like going out, but maybe it would be good for him. He texted back: 'Sure. Meet me at my club in 30.' J headed out to meet Lex at the club, finding him sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of scotch. J slipped up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder as he took a seat. "Are you feeling generous? Usually you don't play well with others." He purred into his ear and Lex grinned. "Of course I don't. Neither do you, and that's what I like. I mean, I saw you in the alleyway having some sort of a breakdown and I thought, damn, he could use a drink." J frowned at that. "Do me a favor and don't let that slip out." Luthor nodded and turned to him. "Girl trouble? Did Harley run off?" J shrugged a little at that. "I guess you haven't seen the papers. Bruce Wayne and I.. we were dating for like, maybe a few days. I fucked it up. Doesn't matter." He shrugged again and ordered a drink. "Drinks are on me." Lex offered and J chuckled. "Because you've already done something to piss me off that I don't know about?" Lex then shook his head and flashed him a smile. "I'm on my best behavior tonight. C'mon, you need to forget about him. He's none of your concern." He smirked and patted Joker on the back. Soon enough, they'd chatted and drank well over their limit. Lex grabbed J's hand and motioned with his head to the door. "Let's get out of here." J easily complied and followed him out, back to his apartment. Once the door had closed, Lex had swiftly pushed Joker against the door and started to kiss him. The passion had to be alcohol fueled, but J wasn't protesting either. J slipped his hands behind Lex's neck, then took off his blazer, running his hands through Lex's shoulder-length brunette hair. This would definitely be a mistake later, but in the moment it seemed like a good idea. When he woke up the next morning, his head hurt and he noticed the brunette's arms around him. For a moment, he thought it was Bruce, but then he remembered who it was. He highly regretted it, knowing that Bruce would be pissed to know that he slept with one of the biggest villains arguably ever. Lex shifted in his sleep, then woke up, pressing kisses to J's neck like Bruce once did. J turned and faced Lex, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Why did we break up?" Lex murmured softly. "I.. because we had other things we wanted in our lives." J murmured back, but made no move to shift away from him. "We could start over. You.. me.. taking over the world. Taking down the heroes who dare to defy us." J grinned a little. "Your pillow talk is rather.. interesting." He teased playfully and Lex smiled. "Look.. I just want you back. Last night.. it was like the past. I loved it. It reminded me how much I enjoy your company." Joker shifted slightly and propped his elbow up on the pillow. "I don't know, Lex..." He trailed off and Lex reached out to caress his cheek. "Just think about it. You have my number." He smiled and J pressed another kiss to his lips before sitting up to get dressed. Something felt wrong. He still wanted Bruce. Maybe closure would help.

Joker hurried off into the morning not long after, looking like a hungover mess. Not to mention his various hickeys all over his neck. He needed to talk to Ed. He'd have reason in all of this madness. Knocking on Nygma's door, he was met with a smiling brunette with a cup of coffee in his hands. "Good morning. I am always angry, but never blue. Who am I?" He grinned and J sighed. "It's me. I get it. I'm tired of the riddles.." he groaned and Ed welcomed him in. "What can I do for you? You don't come around unless you want something." J rolled his eyes. "Look.. I heard you had some good shit that brought Oswald back to you. I need that." As he was waiting, he noticed Captain Boomerang walk into the kitchen naked. Digger simply raised an eyebrow and continued to get himself some coffee. Nygma frowned and shook his head. "It doesn't solve your problems. It only makes things worse, trust me." Ed was trying to run away from his problems too. J thought about it more. "It's worth the risk." Nygma decided that arguing with him would be like arguing with a rock, so he gave Joker the pills, but only a few.