Our Love Prevails

Chapter 6

Skylar POV:  10:32, Sunday

  Rayshawn and I don't say much on the ride back to me and Jaquan's apartment. In fact, we hadn't said much at all since he woke me up two hours ago. I don't know if it's 'cause of last night, or  something else. I want it to be because of something else, anything else but what we did last night. 

  Moesha was a little less rude to me this morning. She went off when she saw me wearing her slutty ass pajamas, but she shut up when Rayshawn said he told me I could wear them. He can do that 'cause he's her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who I let feel me up last night. 

  A small part of me feels like a ho.

  It's not that I care about that thirsty trick's feelings, but I do care that I messed around with another woman's man. It may not have been a big deal to him- for all I know he could be doing that kinda shit all the time- but it was a big deal for me. I was ready to give my panties to a man who's got a serious girlfriend. It doesn't matter if he's pulled this kinda shit before, but it matters that I did it . I helped a man cheat on his girl.  That is something I promised I would never do, ever again.

  I refuse to end up like my big sister. I can't and won't be her. She's put our family through too much for me to do the same as she did: sleep with other women's men. 

  Rayshawn says he'll text me later when we get to my place. I think he was gonna say more but I got outta the car and ran inside before he got the chance. If he was gonna talk about our kiss, I didn't wanna hear it.

  "Jay! Keke! I'm home!" I called. Akeelah came running down the hall with her Disney princesses blanket flying up behind her like a cape. I bent down to pick her up and place her on my hip. She threw her arms around my neck and snuggled me. 

  Jaquan's greeting wasn't as cheerful. He had to be one of the few black people I knew that's face could go so red. The vein in his forehead was bulging. The forehead vein was always a bad sign. Damn, he was pissed. 

  "Akeelah, go to your room for a sec," he demanded in a voice he was fighting to control. Jay was mad as fuck but he didn't want to scare her. He didn't like her seeing us fight.

  I put Akeelah down and she ran off again, her blanket billowing up again behind her. We listened to her tiny footsteps on the floor. By the time we heard Keke close her door, I had prepared for the worst.

  "Where the fuck were you all night?!" he whisper-shouted. " I was worried sick over your stupid ass!"

  "I was at work, Jaquan. Chill out," I said as calm as I could. The best way to handle an angry Jaquan is by being a calm Skylar.

  "I know you don't work that late! What were you doin'?"

  "Work ran late," I was lying through my teeth and he knew it. He always did.

  "Skylar, if you don't tell me the muthafuckin truth right now..." he trailed off and the fight only progressed from there. He asked where I was and I said at work over and over again, our voices getting louder and louder until we were full out screaming at each other.

  We usually had these kinda fights over more serious things, like how we were gonna keep paying rent or how were we gonna be able to afford to keep Akeelah in school or whether we should go to our big sis for money. Money was our biggest concern. But never had we had a fight over something so stupid.

 "Why you gotta be so fuckin' stubborn about one stupid question?" Jaquan screamed, getting all up in my face. Maybe I should just tell the truth. He might not make that big of a deal about it. But he probably will make a big deal about me being attacked.

  "Why you gotta be all up in my business all the time? You don't gotta know every aspect of my life!" I hollered right back at him.

  "I'm your brother! It's my job to know what you be doing! I was over hear thinking you were dead or had gotten kidnapped or some shit! You had no right to scare me like that!"

  That was when I noticed just how stressed and tired he looked. His eyes, even as vibrant and rage- filled as they were now, were drooping and had bags under them. I felt guilty right then for scaring him like that. I hadn't even thought about how worried he must've been. It's not uncommon for people to go missing on this side of town. It happened all the time, and most of the time the cops didn't care enough to look that deep into it.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his chest. His body immediately relaxed but he didn't put his arms around me like I wanted him to. I word what I say next very carefully.

  "I'm really sorry, Jaquan. The car wasn't working right and a friend offered to give me a ride to work and back and there was a bit of trouble at work so I was there a little longer than I expected and my friend told me I could just sleep over at there place."  Nothing I said was a lie. Nothing I said was the truth. Honestly, I wasn't sure if Rayshawn was still my friend after what we did last night. But alls I felt was relief when I felt his arms wrap around me. 

  "If you were with Jacky, why didn't you just say so? I wouldn't have been mad or anything," he stated resting his head on mine. I thank God that he assumed I was with Jackyll.

  "I've just been in a mood and I'm sorry I took it out on you," I sighed into his chest. 

  "It's OK. I forgive you. But if you ever scare me like that again, imma kill you," Jay warns and everything goes back to normal.

  Akeelah eventually comes out of her room, but I'm unsure if she heard the argument. She probably did, but she seems to be okay so I guess that means everything's good. We all sit down on the couch and watch TV for a couple of hours until Jaquan decides he should go fix the car and Akeelah says she wants to play with her dolls. I decide that I should change clothes now. I've been wearing these for too long now. I can still feel that Latino man's gun against my head, his disgusting hands on my body.

  I take a shower to wash off everything that happened last night and when I'm done throw on a pair of dark jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt. I'm about to go and check Jay's progress with the car when my phone chimes. It's from Rayshawn.

  R u ok? -R

  I consider not texting him back but then I decide that I'm being ridiculous. We need to talk about last night anyways. It wasn't something I really wanted to do, but it was time to woman up. I was 23 years old and I needed to act like it.

  I'm good. We need 2 talk abt last nite. And I dn't mean wat happened @ the club. -S 

  He doesn't respond for a while. 

  Ok. Wat abt it?-R

  U sucked my face like it was a popsicle. And u hv a GF! U mite be dwn w/ th@ but I ain't abt th@ life. The thirst isn't th@ real.-S

  It takes even longer for him to respond to that. I was actually beginning to wonder if he would respond when my phone chimed.

  I no. I didn't mean 4 th@ 2 happen. I think I got caught up in the moment. Srry abt it. U still cool w/ chillin doh, rite? As friends?-R

  I honestly wanted more than friendship. I wanted to fuck him. So badly. But I knew being friends was the smarter option.

  Yeah. I'm down w/ th@.-S

  After that conversation flowed much easier. We even agreed to hang out tomorrow. He kept calling me babe throughout the conversation, and even though I told him to stop, I really liked it when Rayshawn called me that. When I told him I had to go to work today, he kinda freaked out, telling me it wasn't safe and I shouldn't go alone and all that shit. But I just brushed him off and left for work anyways. We needed the money, and since Jaquan fixed the car, Rayshawn couldn't really stop me. 

  But I didn't think he would show up at my work place and act like he was my bodyguard. Of course, I thought wrong.