You Have Got To Be Kidding Me...

Niall - Ever Been A Pirate Before?

I accidentally published this chapter before it was finished and had to delete it so it's gonna be a bit different than the original copy. I was yelling "no, no, no, no!" for ages, I was so pissed off at myself. Bad me! But it happened and I can't change it, so oh well!

This spell check is useless! It just won't understand that Hunu, Zayn and Zealand are NOT spelling mistakes. God it makes me mad!

Just wanted to introduce you to Oliver. He is the personal bodyguard for the boys along with Paul but he is NOT real. Here's a brief description of him.

Oliver - Black hair, dark green eyes, tanned, muscular

Now onto the story!

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"Slow down Niall! You're gonna eat the world's supply of bacon!" Kate laughed at me, biting into her own sandwich. I couldn't help myself. This bacon was so amazing! It was juicy, it was smoky, it was....well, delicious. 10/10 for your bacon New Zealand!

I had also finally found out Kate's name about halfway to the kitchen so now I don't have to say her all the time. I stuck my tongue out at her. She did the same, then twisted it upwards to touch the tip of her nose.

I looked at her in amazement. I'd tried to do that so many times, it wasn't funny. "How do you do that?" I asked, attempting to do it once again and failing miserably.

"Either you can do it or you can't." she replied, smiling at Oliver who'd come to join us. He nodded in her direction as he accepted a bacon sandwich offered by Hunu.

Oliver has been our personal bodyguard (along with Paul) since we started the tour. He gets on the most with Zayn. Maybe because they're both the strong, silent types. If you can get a smile out of him then you've got talent.

"I have a question!" Kate proclaimed. He tilted his head to indicate he was listening while taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Do you have any spare recycling bins?"

I choked on my mouthful and coughed while Hunu patted my back. I was not expecting that. Kate glanced at me in concern but returned her attention back to Oliver when she saw I was fine. Hunu offered me a glass of water with I took gracefully.

Oliver held his finger up in a wait a moment gesture, chewing his mouthful rather slowly and swallowing. "Yeah, why?"

She dramatically held her finger up in the same way as him, looking dead serious. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing. She was not the type of girl I first thought she was.

"Because today, I have decided that I'm going to be a pirate."

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"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked nervously. This sounded like fun at first but now I was starting to have second thoughts. I felt like I was going to be sick. Maybe I shouldn't have had all those bacon sandwiches earlier.

"Do ye dare to question ye captains orders?" she retorted. I turned my head and gave her a are you crazy?! look. She just laughed and patted my shoulder. "Trust me, this is as fun as throwing tampons at Harry." I snorted. I so wish I'd been there for that. It would have been epic.

"Now, are ye ready?" she switched back to pirate mode, tugging an invisible eye-patch over her face.

"Aye aye, captain!" I saluted and gripped the sides of the recycling bin tightly. Oh god, what did I just agree to?

In case you're wondering, yes I am sitting in a recycling bin. Kate had convinced me that we needed a pirate ship and had chosen the recycling bin to be ours. Did I also mention that I was going to be sliding down the stairs in it?