You Have Got To Be Kidding Me...

Pineapple lumps!

"Sooooo..... what's for lunch?" Niall asked as soon as Harry and I stopped shaking hands.

"I don't know about you five, but I'm going down to the kitchens. Hunu's making macaroni cheese." I said, heading for the door.

"MAC AND CHEESE!!!!!" Louis yelled before pushing me aside and running out the door. I reached for the wall to stop myself from falling, but it's, well, a wall. There's nothing to hang onto. I landed on the ground with a muffled thud. Thank you god for these thick carpets!

"I'm guessing he likes his mac and cheese," I commented, staring after his fleeing figure in bewilderment. What is with these boys and their food? First it's Niall with his bacon sandwiches and now it's Louis with macaroni cheese.

"That's an understatement. After carrots. Mac and cheese is his favorite food. He's about as protective of it as Niall is with his Nandos." Zayn explained, helping me up.

"Thanks," I nodded. I did that random thing where you brush invisible dust off your clothing. "We'd better get down there before Louis eats it all."

They all agreed and five minutes later, we arrived in the kitchen. I snorted and chuckled when I saw the scene in front of me. The boys looked at me weirdly until they saw what I was laughing at and that set them off as well. Oliver was sitting at the table looking amused, Hunu was frying some bacon and Louis was sitting on a chair in the corner with a scowl on his face.

"Are you in the naughty corner or something Lou?" Harry asked his best friend.

"Maybe..." he muttered. This caused another burst of laughter to erupt from us. He just scowled harder and sunk down in his seat.

"Mr Impatient here," Hunu said as she glared at Louis. "Tried to poke his fingers in my cooking. So he's there until everyone else has been served."

"It looked finished! And I was hungry!" he protested.

"Are you Jimmy? No, so you can't protest! And I hadn't even added the cheese yet, how is that finished?" the old Maori woman retorted.

"But... I.... Gah!" Louis threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

"A twenty year old man in the naughty corner. Not something you see every day." I commented. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen anyone in the naughty corner for a couple of years. The last time must have been in my first year of school when this dude was being an absolute dickhead.

"Kate, you're with One Direction. Crazy shit like this is a daily occurrence, though I must admit, this is a first for me as well." Niall told me, slinging his arm around my shoulders.

"Looks like the F.I.R has a bit of competition. You're on." I shot him a competitive look, a smirk on my face.

"F.I.R?" he questioned, looking confused. Well he should! If he knew what it was then I'd be completely freaked out.

"Federal Institute of Retardedness. That's the name of my group of friends at school. We have code names and everything! And by everything, I mean nothing." I explained with a shrug.

"Grubs up!" Hunu interrupted. I eagerly accepted the bowl of macaroni cheese (with bacon!!) from her, plopped down in a random seat and began to eat.

Now, I have a specific way of eating my mac and cheese. I have to eat all the bacon then eat the rest one pasta piece at a time. So that meant when everyone else had finished, I was only halfway through. I paused for a moment to get a drink and Louis's hand snaked towards my bowl. In a split second, I ninja chopped my hand in front of his on the table. He looked up in astonishment and shock.

"Don't. Touch. My mac and cheese or you die! Got it?"

He nodded, looking slightly scared.

"Sorry, I'm very protective of my macaroni cheese." I apologized, placing another bit of pasta in my mouth.

"No kidding!" Liam laughed. I stuck my tongue out at him and continued eating. I finally finished after another two minutes cause I got bored and just ate it normally.

"Right, you six can get something sweet from the cupboard if you like. Hunu and I are going to relax. Be sensible and try not to break anything." Oliver said, getting up. That was the longest speech I'd ever heard him say. Today seemed to be the first-of-everything day.

"Don't get your hopes up Oliver." Harry smiled. "Since when have we ever been sensible?"

"Let me rephrase that. Don't do anything stupid. Have fun boys." He turned to leave.

"What am I? A fish?!" I asked with mock outrage.

"You too Kate!" he added, turning to look at me. I gave him the thumbs up and he left. The famous five were already in the pantry so I went to join them. Liam was attempting to stop them from making a mess, but failing. They had already managed to get flour all over themselves and cereal in Harry's curls. I scanned the shelves for something sugary and saw the most perfect lolly known to mankind.

"Pineapple Lumps!" I boomed and grabbed the packet, holding it above my head. "Well done New Zealand!" I finished in a deep voice.

"I remember those! We had them in Australia." Niall's eyes went wide with longing and he started towards me. I swear I saw him drooling. I smiled, then froze. Did he just say what I think he said?

"Wait, what? What was that you said about Australia?" I asked, backing out of the walk-in pantry.

"We had them there. They Australian lollies, aren't they?" he said, frowning.

Australian lollies? Australian lollies! Those bloody Aussies! First they steal our Pavlova, now our Pineapple Lumps? This is just going too far!

"You sir, have just offended me! You don't deserve these lollies! They are strictly New Zealand owned and made and so is the Pavlova! The Aussies lie!" I yelled, half angry and half just being weird. I wasn't angry at him, I was pissed off at Aussie.

In case you didn't know, Australia and New Zealand don't get along that well. Sure, we band together to get attention from the rest of the world, but we're really just like siblings. We get along occasionally, but we mostly hate each other's guts. Well, that's the way it seems to me.

"But.. But.. But.. I want them!" Niall cried and launched himself at me. I quickly turned and ran, the Pineapple Lumps clutched in my hands.

"After her!" I heard Louis yell.

Five sets of pounding footsteps sounded behind me and I briefly remembered my attempt to escape the other day. This time though, they weren't going to catch me.

I turned down a corridor that I hadn't seen the other day and the carpet suddenly changed to tile. What the-?

I ran down this new hallway and into a big, sunny, open room. They were gaining on me, their footsteps getting louder by the second.

I peeked over my shoulder to find all five of them barely ten meters away. I managed to run for a few more steps before the floor disappeared from beneath my feet. I closed my eyes tightly, expecting to hit hard floor, but was instead surprised by a shock of cold water. I opened my eyes to find myself near the bottom of a pool. I don't know why I didn't expect this, no wonder the floor was tile now. I face palmed underwater.

I pushed off from the bottom and swam to the top. I emerged to find One Direction all standing near the edge, looking down at me. I shook my wet hair out of my eyes.

"Who knew they had an indoor pool?"

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I realise that I haven't updated in a while but I had writers block and couldn't think of any good ideas. But then I ate some pineapple lumps and remembered reading something on twitter about Australia giving them to the boys and saying they were from Australia but they are 100% New Zealand!

The ad for them is on the side ————->

It was my best friend's birthday on Tuesday! I got her a 1D poster, a onion and a potato with Oosh written on it. But the first o looked like a d so it was a doshpotato.