"I don't want to live anymore."
There's no reason to live.
My lifespan is already limited, and people won't want to take care of an invalid for a lifetime.
I have been sick for a year and a half. While that doesn't seem long, it's deadly for a <Death Angel> victim.
See, unlike other patients with <Death Angel> shadowing them, I have lived past the six month mark.
The hospital had given me a experimental drug that can extend my life for two more years. Even so, that is the maximum time it can add to my already short lifespan.
Which means that I have only six more months at most to live.
Seventeen years is all I have to enjoy life before I die.
But I do not want to live any longer.
To me, life as an <Death Angel> victim is just as fun as being a test subject locked up in a cell and experimented on. Any day now I will drop and die.
"You should be happy. Out of all the three thousand patients here you were selected to test out the LivE drug. Think of the families that will pay massive amounts of money just to let their loved ones live longer."
That's what Dr. Akira Samurakami had told me when I woke up from the required surgery. Not that I was wrong about the pain and suffering, but the everlasting heart pain, weakening organs, dwindling muscles, and repeating therapy sessions doesn't make it happy at all.
*Sigh* Stop thinking about it, Kai.
I walk into the elevator and place my palm on the biometric scanner.
"Welcome back. Which floor?"
The mechanical sounding voice of a popular virtual singer echo in the tiny elevator.
"Seven."
As the elevator starts to ascend, I open my tablet and look at my drawing progress today.
Damn it, my lines still look like snakes. But at least the trees look better this time.
I start forward and bump my head. Immediately, red liquid flows from the point of impact.
I am so dumb. The doors were not even open, so why did I walk forward?
As the doors open, I caught a glance of my current state in the mirrors in front of every elevator. With my mind still accompanied by the injury, I saw a shocking image of a thin boy in a blue gown and a gray khaki shorts, blood dripping from his forehead, a bloodstained tablet by his side.
The nurses were in a panic when they saw me swaggering with a trail of blood.
"Please be more careful. We cannot have a patient wandering around like that. What if you were to bleed to death?" the head nurse said as she rushed me to my room
"Sorry."
But I was not sorry.
I do not want to live anymore. Why live if all you do is suffer? Many times I have tried to end my life yet I am still alive. It is as if someone is preventing me from dying.
Same old day. I should just go to sleep.
Before I could fall asleep, the bald doctor came over and sat down next to me
"Kai. Do you know Yoshino's story?"
"Yeah. She was the first one to be taken by <Death Angel>. She died when she was 13, six months into the sickness. She had a short life, just like me."
"You're right, I have to admit, on her short life. But even with all the pain and suffering, she wanted to stay alive and make others happy. So don't be so down on yourself. Cheer up, you're still alive."
"That's not a thing to be happy about with me in this state."
"Well, at least you can be thankful that you've lived longer than other patients. Oh, the lab sent another message that they are willing to let you test their new medicine. I need to get your answer if you want to join their testing group. The lab wants some results soon."
"And the answer is still no. Why do I need to test this drug? Can't you just chose some other patient and send back the results to the lab?"
He sighed and adjusted his glasses "While I cannot compare you to Yoshino, your condition is the most stable one out of all the previous patients I have taken care of."
"You know Yoshino? Wait, were you the one who was in charge of her when she was in this hospital?"
"Yes. I was also there web she passed away in a coma. Even now, I still don't know why God allowed such a young life to end so sudden..."
He stood up and look out the window. The summer sun was still bathing the world in light, even though it was night. His eyes were misty as if he lost his own child.
What happened between him and Yoshino?
"..."
"Please don't feel so depressed that you only have a short amount of time to live. I can't break my promise with her yet."
"A promise?" Now that was new information.
"Before she died, she made me promise her that I will do my best to make sure every <Death Angel> patient lives their life to the fullest. So far, I can say that I haven't broke the promise yet."
"I guess I am a lost cause then."
"No, you are not. You still have a chance to change. So did Yoshino. She lost her memories, her strength, her livelihood, yet she made a choice: to live what little life she had to the fullest, and to bring happiness to others. You are still breathing and living, right? As long as you can take another breath, you can make choices. Find something to look forward to, a reason to keep living; maybe that will change your look on life. Don't let your life, a precious gift, be wasted in self-pity."
"Like you're the one to talk. You haven't even got over that event yet, and you didn't clear it up with her either."
He turn and stare at me for a few seconds, then walk towards the door "You're right. I may not be the right person to say those words, but I still believe that you will do great things in life, and you will enjoy it."
"Whatever." I pull the thin blanket over my head and pretend to sleep.
As the footsteps got quieter, I heard him whispering, like he was talking to himself
"Please don't disappoint me or Yoshino."
With that, I was left alone in the room.
"A reason to live?"
YOU ARE READING
DREAMORIES #314 - When I Am Home
Short Story[ Life. You only get one chance in living it. ] Death. That's what Kai has been promised. It is a promise everyone was given, yet his came early. [ If you can change anything, what will you change? ] He's not the only one to have his...
