Moving on.

Chapter 1

Chapter 1
I wasn't always normal, well not until i was diagnosed with eye cancer when i was thirteen but that was now four years back. I was also diagnosed with manic depression when i was 15. My parents decided i needed a therapist since i spent most of my time in bed and never saw the light of day. And of course, the therapist  visit would be depressing as hell. I was about to get my eye checked in about a week, my regular doctor Jim was going to take it off, so mainly i was about to be blind soon. The world wasn't worth looking at, anyway. You're just going to die soon and it'll all be over. At least that was what I thought. My dad told me that i need to look at the world while i still can but i thought otherwise, what's the point of looking at the world anyway? Life is just all about cruelty, there wasn't a point of looking at the world. I grabbed my usual book from my bedside table which i read over and over. I stared at the cover and looked at the title for the millionth time. Freedom without air. The main concept of the book was this girl named Isabel who had stage IV lung cancer. Even though she had cancer and was depressed she wanted to set sail and discover the world, be free, even though she had cancer. Chapter 10 was the part where she set of into the world and left behind everything but the storm in which she comes across loses her tank and sinks below the ocean. Basically at the end, she died. But she was gonna die anyway. "Rose?" I heard my mom call. I put the book back on my table and went downstairs. "Yeah Mom?" "It's time to take a trip to the therapist. I rolled my eyes. "Mom, i don't need a therapist, i'm managing just fine on my own." "No you aren't, you need to see a therapist, Honey" I rolled my eyes again and decided not to argue. I went to my room and grabbed my jacket and headed out the door, my mom was already waiting there for me. I opened the door and got in. As my mother drove in complete silence and stared at the window and it's emptiness. Most people would see the world as a beautiful, kind, amazing place and whatever... But i saw only Darkness, emptiness, etc... Which was mainly why i needed a therapist and was only why mums were always right. I rolled my eyes. ( I was one for rolling my eyes ) I looked at my Mom and she looked somewhat gloomy, i know i could be a bit mean and sarcastic at times but i felt sorry for my mom, i mean dealing with  your teenage daughter who had cancer and depression, spending in bed, all tied up with work. I bet she never thought here she was, driving your daughter to a therapist or a hospital. "We're here." She said after long long last. I got out of the car to find a little building covered with dust and bricks. Me and my mom entered through the door and found doctors holding checklists, people with tanks and wheel-chairs, etc.. My moment to speak with the reception about whatever she was gonna say while i waited in a couple of chairs. A cute guy was sitting next to me and he was mostly staring..... I looked at his face which was rather, Hot. "What's your name?" He asked. "Rose." "Your middle name?" "Jason" "Rose Jason." The boy muttered to himself. "I'm Otto Zack" "Otto Zack, kind of a weird name." We both shared a laugh and it ended when i heard my mom call me. "I'll see ya later, Otto." "You too Rose." He disappeared  from my sight as i entered the small wooden door and saw the therapist who was probably in his mid 30's. He had shiny black hair and it was mostly covered in grey too. He was wearing this white lab coat thing which was probably really old. He held this kind of novel familiar but couldn't see it because it seemed too far away. "Miss Jason. I'm glad to see you" He put the book down and turned to me. "Come on, let's begin." He pointed to a funky, brown couch that felt in shape and comfortable. "Do you have worries or anything?" 'Of course i have worries, i have cancer for heavens sake!" He got off the chairs and went to grab a notebook from his drawer. "I mean like, i'm gonna get blind in a week, i'm not even gonna see the world again and eventually, i'll die, everyone will die whether they have lung cancer, blindness, deaf, leg cancer, breast cancer or even no cancer at all." "The world has to live on it's metamorpical emptiness, the rich, the poor, the sick, the normal. They all have disadvantages that they live on, no one's life is perfect." "You're eventually gonna get your heart broken and stuff and then it's all gonna end in a second" "You'll either live the rest of your life in hell or heaven and basically  that's life." The therapist stared at me stunned probably thing that i had major depression rather than just Manic depression. He eventually nodded and said, "That's some deep words for someone young." "Yeah well, i'm not young, i'm 17 now and everything has to stop treating me like such a baby." "You know, most patients i had would take time to let everything out but you are somewhat different Miss Jason." I rolled my eyes. "Thanks and by the way, would you please stop calling me that?" I liked it when people called me by my typical name, Rose. Not Miss Jason. I felt like i'm meeting called by a female grammar but being called my my opposite gender. "I think we've had enough for today, Miss..um.. Rose." He said, lost for words. I sighed as i got of the brown, leather couch and wondered to myself Am i really that mean? Sometimes, i didn't even recognize myself. I used to be the nicest person in school until depression and cancer struck me. I headed out the door and saw the Otto staring at the streets which how again to me looked empty. "What are you looking at, there's nothing in the world but emptiness." "I want to hear the sounds of the physical streets, the people enjoying themselves to cakes they bought down the street, the babies waling because we don't have much in our lifetime, Rose Jason" "You have cancer?" i asked him. "About to be deaf, you?" "Blindness, it sucks." "Hey, at least you get to hear the world." "At least you get to see the world" We both exhaled to our response at the same time. "It sucks." we said. "jinx!"we both said as we raised a finger art each other, we started laughing. "So, um..will you, like..." My mom pulled up the driveway and honked her car. great every great moment has to be ruined by mom. I rolled my eyes. "Would you like to see a movie with me tonight?" "Sure." I  said as i reached for the car's door handle. "Romcom, 8:00?' he told me. i nodded as i got in my seat and mom drove away. "So, who was that boooy?" Mom said smoothly. I rolled my eyes. "He was just some cancer deaf kid who is about to watch a movie with me and before you ask the therapist thing went great." I folded my arms as i stared out the window and waiting till we reached the circle of emptiness.