Tired of Lies

Everything has Changed

I couldn't believe what happened. I didn't want to believe it happened. How could someone in their right mind do this. Christina Taylor was dead and it was all my fault. I knew it had something to do with me. Right now I wished I had just stayed in my corner and ignored her like everyone else did but maybe it was a good thing I didn't. Now more than ever I needed to find that man who rapped her and bring her to justice but the real question was where do I even start? I hadn't realized that there was police and hospital staff already up here trying to figure out the same thing I was. What the hell happened here? When did they even get here. They were probably already up here for a few minutes now. I looked down and realized I had descended to the floor and my hands were in fists covered in Christina's blood. I stood up not shedding one tear and just stared off not sure what to do. I wanted to cry, scream, rip my hair out but I didn't. I couldn't move. I just kept staring at the blood covered roof. If I had just gotten here a little bit earlier maybe this wouldn't have happened. I feel a hand on my arm and turn around. It's Benson and he doesn't say anything he just grabs me and pulls me into a hug. I wanted to tell him that I was ok and he didn't have to give me a hug but honestly I knew myself that was lie and for now I was tired of lying to him so I did what most people would have done if they just kind found someone's dead body cried into Benson's arms as he stroked my hair and gently walked me down the stairs. I don't want to cry but I knew it was better than thinking about Christina right now. When we got to my room he helped me scrub the already dry blood on my arms and hands. We said nothing. Then I realized I would have to take out my hospital gown so we could get the rest of the blood but I barely moving. So Benson would have to do it. He hesitated but I nodded my head and he finally just took of the gown slowly over my head and helped me into the shower then let me do the rest. He had closed his eyes but I knew he was peeking but pretended to not notice. I finished and grabbed my towel wrapping it around myself. Benson had already left probably to go and help someone else. I brushed my hair and put on a new hospital gown. I took a deep breath taking in the fresh air. I never wanted to smell blood again. I went to bed and covered myself with the blankets. I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. There was no way I was going to sleep. The door opened and I turned my head. I didn't feel like answering any questions right now. Benson is at the door with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands.

"I thought you would like some hot chocolate to keep your mind off of what you know happened on the roof."

I turned my head the other way. "I'm not thirsty."

"Ok."

I had expected him to have an argument with me and try to persuade me to drink something but he didn't he just placed one of the mugs on the counter and left.

"Wait!"

Benson rushes back in eyes searching my face. "What is it?"

"Stay."

He nods his head and sits in the chair beside my bed. I look over him one last time not caring if he had noticed. His bright blond hair was always messy at the same time neat and his piercing green eyes never ceased to amaze me. I close my eyes and try to not think of anything. After a few minutes I finally go to sleep.

Nothing worked last night. I barely slept. I look over to my right and Benson is gone. I never heard him leave. I kinda wished he hadn't left. I was still sacred to be alone but I knew he had to probably get back to work. I stamper over to the table with my already new clothes. Wait something isn't right. They gave me a regular tee, jeans, and converse. They always gave me a hospital gown and slippers. Maybe I was finally going home! My parents were probably worried sick and had asked me to return back. I hurriedly rushed to the showers and got ready. I finished tying my shoelaces when there was a knock on the door. I jumped but excitedly opened the door. It was my mom and dad. I gave them a huge hug and didn't let go. "I missed you guys so much."