Ignem Tristitia (An Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Prequel) [ON HOLD]

Chapter One - Running From the Ruins of my Life

There I was. Staring into the flaming remains of the home I loved. In those ashes were the only two people I had ever loved. My parents. Their remains were no longer visible, buried under the charred planks of the house. I didn't know whether to cry or to run. I was about to do both, then I caught a glimpse of something from the corner of my eye.

A person. Not just a person, it was a khajiit. He was wearing dark clothing indistinguishable from the night sky, with a hood draped over his face. I couldn't see anything but his eyes. He stared back at me. His gaze pierced me. It literally hurt, but I couldn't look away. For a few seconds, the world stopped. I didn't remember that my parents just roasted alive, or that my home was just destroyed. I didn't hear the flames. Just silence. My entire world was consumed in the sight of those eyes. They felt empty, yet full of darkness.

Then, without thinking, I stood up and ran into the black cloak of the Tenmar Forest. I don't know how long I stayed there, hiding. I couldn't cry. I never have. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I was overwhelmed of this calamitous loss. It felt like it happened instantly. One second you're saying you love them, then you drift off to sleep. Then the screams of the people most precious to you are the thing that wakes you up from your unconsciousness. My father was already dead, crushed by a beam, sprawled across the floor. My mother said to escape through the shattered remains of the window. Then she said she loved me. I said the same. I couldn't save her. The doorway was aflame.

I was sitting silently underneath a bush in the forest, about 100 yards away from the incinerated house. I tried to keep my breaths quiet but I was gasping so loudly it was impossible. I sat there staring at the house, watching it burn, knowing I was powerless. I wanted to cry and to sleep and to die. All I could think about is that stare. Why was it so horrifying? I still don't understand.

The next morning, when the smoke from my home cleared, I stood up. I didn't realize I hadn't moved in hours. When I got up I nearly instantly fell down. My eyes were clouded and I was dizzy. My knees hurt. My lungs hurt. I don't know what didn't hurt. I didn't get injured by the fire, but this was the most pain I'd ever experienced. When I could see, I limped over to the clearing where the house was. It was nearly gone. I felt a wave of despair rush over me as a saw my parents' room. I immediately turned away.

A single tear slipped out of my eye, down my face. I'd never felt that before. It slid slowly down the fur on my cheek and dripped off my chin. I wiped it off with my sleeve. My ears were ringing, filled with the sound of chirping insects and timber sizzling. I looked one last time at the burned pile of ashes that held the best memories I had, then I turned, and I ran.

I had never run so fast in my life. I don't know why I ran. There wasn't anywhere to go. I didn't know where anything was. I was only 9 years old. Luckily, there was another house about 400 meters away. It was beautiful, resting on a hill, surrounded by trees and flowers by the dozens.

By the time I got there, I was starving and out of breath. My stomach ached and my hands twitched. I coughed several times. I walked up to the crooked door and knocked 4 times. No answer. I knocked 6 times, louder this time. Then I heard footsteps and someone opened the door.

Despite this person living so close to me, I'd never seen her before. She wasn't a khajiit, which is kind of rare, considering we're in southern Elsweyr. I didn't think anything about it, because it didn't matter to me. Anyone is as good as the next right now. I needed to see a different face than the man who I thought burned down my house.

Then she spoke. "Hello. Who are you?"

I had no idea how to respond. Hundreds of possible replies went through my head as fast as lightning. Of all of those, my brain picked my name.