Shay

twenty nine

I was packing my suitcase, silently ignoring the house phone that revealed Laylah's voice on the voice mails.

Our car ride had gone just as silent, and I hadn't glanced another look at that mad woman. I eventually made her drop me off at 500 West Madison Street, helping me to catch the next train home. I promised her to meet up.

But here I was, looking forward to New York more than ever. I had never left this place as I stayed the true Chicago girl at heart, like I had introduced myself to Harry – but, I wasn't even much of that. I was an Evanston girl, after all.

I quickly put out the piece of paper that I had put into my pocket earlier, revealing the flight information. I couldn't believe I was just about to go out of Illinois for the first time.

I felt guilty – and, that was only because of the rush of excitement in my brain. I should, or wanted to, only care about Jenna, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't afraid of... losing her. What was, apparently, only supposed to be her day off, had turned out to be a disappearing.

But, I knew better, and knew that I'd rather pack things for Big Apple than going to a surprise party without Jenna, a party that.. Jenna could be involved in?

That couldn't be.

She knew, very well, how much of a worrier I was, even if we hadn't known each other for all too long. She, somehow, had her own place in my heart, as she kept entertaining me at work and had supported me throughout my short time at Walgreen until now.

Miss Smith, obviously, lost track of Jenna not being there as she busied herself with some other "business stuff". Of course, my hope of Could have met Jenna, if I only got ready for my Party was somehow there, but I slowly gave it up, also.

I glanced back at my mostly unused, often ignored house phone that was being now supported by Laylah's never ending calls.

I looked through my small apartment as I was sitting on the cold floor, and got lost in my thoughts.  I felt a sudden missing part in my heart when I slowly realised how much I actually enjoyed Jenna's company. It hadn't been the same with Christina, and I hadn't ever gotten to know such person before. I missed Jenna, and the time spent at hers.

I was still wondering whether it was me or her who had changed the article, including the harsh use of words such as Money, Sex and Women. I realised that I wasn't fully aware of my, apparently, well existing drunken after ego that probably could just use those kind of words quite well.

My alter ego was ready to quickly judge, and it was Harry who got judged. Now, I wasn't ready to blame Jenna any more, either because she was "missed" and I'd rather kiss her feet than blame her for nothing – or it was because I knew that my alter ego, somehow, had written the article and just was like that.

Of course, I remained to have issues referring to the article as mine.

I couldn't remember a bit of writing what had been published, that was now called the first article by no one but Shayleen Taylor.

I was now running back and forth, trying to remember what I could possibly need for my trip.

My stepmother had used to travel around a lot, mostly because of her "business reasons" though.

But, having me striving for a new life had been so much, maybe too much for her. And, she couldn't cope with it as she'd been the only woman to raise me. I could tell that she hadn't wanted me to fall into the same hole as she had – a life blinded by so, so much money.

On the other hand, she hadn't been able to decide what was best for me, but I'd thought I could.

There I was.